This is it. I am thinking of ending it soon. I know this thread is dead but I need to vent. I'm dying here.
I cant take this anymore. I am a 24 year old male and I am ravaged with stretch marks. Covered. I have done a solid year of research into this condition, hours each day obsessively. Read hundreds of studies, looked into Marfans Syndrome, Cushing's Syndrome, I even had saliva Cortisol tests, blood test, everything came back normal.
The worst part? I gained 50 pounds when I was 20 and I lost it in a year and a half with exercise, high protein eating and lifting. And I had almost ZERO stretch marks after! I know because I have beach pictures of me after the weightloss with no stretch marks. Life was great.
ANd suddenely, in the past year and a half, I have developed them EVERYWHERE for no reason. I gained 5 pounds. FIVE pounds. over a YEAR and a half. and my body just NOW decides to give up? I survived that initial weight loss without these damn things. I guess I had it coming eventually..fate would catch up with me.
Even if something is terribly wrong with me and I fixed it with medication, the damage is done. My youth is essentially coming to an end and I spent the entire last year in the deepest depression I've ever been in.
I know you guys can relate to this: the hardest part is looking in the mirror and realizing you're damaged goods, you're "different". Realizing that anyone who wanted to date me could literally go out on the street, pick 40 other dudes my age, line them up, take their shirts off, and NONE of them would have this disfiguring disgusting shameful condition. Someone would literally have to make an exception to their ideas of what the average body is, to date us. They'd have to accept this horrendous sight, knowing full well that they could pick almost any other person and enjoy better smoother skin. We're pathetic, alien even, in our own minds.
Everyone has minor stretch marks, but to have large ones covering every junction in your body puts you in the 1 percent of 1 percent of people. We're freaks and I would give years off my life to exist in another body.
When you hate your body and it involuntarily produces a gut feeling of utter disgust when you see yourself, then you're essentially living in a prison.
Most young people are living life in the moment, joyously, spontaneously, because they're not HYPER self aware of their bodies like we are. That's the problem.
Waking up everyday and seeing hundreds of 5 inch purple gashes. Everywhere. My day is INSTANTLY ruined. Any joy, peace, happiness, gone. Who would have known that a simple skin condition could destroy a person's life. It's ruined mine.
And to add insult to injury, im totally bald. at 24. Be happy you girls don't have to deal with that. Not even my face from the neck up can look good compared to other men.
I'll end with this: I think stretch marks hurt us so badly because we have been so quickly transformed by them. Amost out of nowhere, we're suddenly permanently scared.
When it comes to appearance, it's MUCH HARDER to have had and have lost, then to never had had at all.
I find myself staring at pictures of me at 17 years old, perfect skin and hair at the beach, and crying histerically. I wish I could go back. I wish I could exist in a body that wasn't damaged for life. F*** this life.