How do I tell a female friend I have feelings for her?

by **rykert** » Sat Nov 19, 2011 6:08 am

I have a female friend who I have known not very long - about 3 months or so. Initially I wasn't more interested in her then any other girl - but she initiated the friendship and we became good friends who hang out a lot, etc. Some time later I find that I have very very deep feelings for her and it is so intense that I feel like I am going crazy.

Now I am not a teenager - we are both adults. I have been out with girls before but haven't felt like this for anyone - didn't even think it was possible for me to feel like this. First I thought the feelings were only temporary and would go away - but seems that's not the case.

We talk almost everyday and see each other quite often-sometimes we hang out for hours and hours. But she is quite a social kind of person who makes friends easily - plus she was brought up in a very open kind of society. She is from a different country/ethnicity then I am. So I don't know if she would be interested in me in that way - I suspect she is not - she just wants a friend to hang out with.

So I don't really know what to do. I don't want blurt it out, make her uncomfortable and loose her friendship. But I can't hold it in anymore either.

Any advice?

by **LightRibena** » Sat Nov 19, 2011 1:13 pm

You could just be up front, tell her you like her and ask her out on a date.

Alternatively, try flirting and see if she reciprocates, then build from there by reading her body language and hopefully it'll result in kissing her

by **jaxxx** » Sat Nov 19, 2011 2:41 pm

LightRibena wrote:Alternatively, try flirting and see if she reciprocates, then build from there by reading her body language and hopefully it'll result in kissing her

I'm with LB on this one. However, I would add, take it slowly. Start changing the way communicate with her both verbally and with your body actions. In my experience, all women are flattered to be flirted with (unless they are married to your brother or best friend) so they will accept it. Pay her compliments, slightly more so than a guy friend would. Very subtle comments and actions. Since you talk to her and see her almost every day, try it for a week or two.

Again, this is only in my experience...
I've found being right up front with a 'friend' could go either way. If the feelings are mutual it seems to go well. If the feelings aren't mutual it tends to create a wedge.

Good luck. Keep us posted!

by **femalegoddessnow** » Tue Nov 22, 2011 9:26 pm

The only reason you have such strong feelings is because you can't have her.

by **yanna** » Fri Dec 02, 2011 4:37 am

I think the girl likes you too. She wouldn't go out with you and hang out for hours if she didn't like you. Maybe she's just using your friendship as a front act to see you too. Why not ask her on a date, so you'll know her side too.

by **koli** » Tue Dec 06, 2011 5:14 am

good luck !hope you to be successful !

by **harrie carrie** » Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:24 pm

be open and honest with and who knows what may happen

by **tina_w84** » Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:13 pm

I think you are getting this all wrong, she sounds like a friendly girl who likes to socialise and she sees you as just a friend. I gave up on male friends because like an X always used to tell me 'a woman can be friends with a man but a man can never be friends with a woman'.

Men always think you want sex, even if you are married, have a gf or are dead lol

If she was interested she'd let you know, just be happy with as a friend and if you cant move on. :-)

by **ramm** » Mon Jan 09, 2012 7:51 am

I had an experience same like this, I was in touch with a woman for last 9 months. we were good by all means expect X. I am always crazy about her. When i opened my desire she rejected my request and i moved away from her. Bcoz i couldn't maintain just a friendship for which i was used for her selfishness.

by **2wii** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:58 am

I agree with what's been said here, if it was me I'll just take a chance in order to move on whether with or without her.

by **chevyrecycler34** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 4:01 pm

arrange a sleep over get drunk and take your chance with a kiss/snog, even booze induced if she feels like you, but like you doesnt know how to start things off then the relief of getting it out in the open would be tangible. waking up in each others arms the morning after should be such a pleasant experience, if you have the time then staying in bed and cementing your new found friendship/intimacy/lover should entice you to stay in bed all day and F*** each other stupid.

by **none of the above** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 1:47 am

tina_w84 wrote:I think you are getting this all wrong, she sounds like a friendly girl who likes to socialise and she sees you as just a friend. I gave up on male friends because like an X always used to tell me 'a woman can be friends with a man but a man can never be friends with a woman'.

Men always think you want sex, even if you are married, have a gf or are dead lol

If she was interested she'd let you know, just be happy with as a friend and if you cant move on.

Yep.