Dlisted Michael K always has a sense of humor with his articles and never knew his blog
was so popular which has 300 comments so far
Jennifer Aniston Doesn't Give A S.h.i.t About This After All Hollywood Life, your source for all Barfgelina/Analstain fan fiction, said last week that Jennifer Aniston had nothing but smiles for the news that her
ex-husband is now engaged to lady pit viper (© Joan Rivers) Angie Jolie and she would even RSVP a yes if she got an invite for the wedding. Well,
now E! News is hearing from a source close to Jennifer that the Brangie engagement news
has made her constipated and she has zero shits to give it. Jennifer cares more about planning the quinceanera of her eldest Cabbage Patch doll than she does about
Brangie's stupid ass wedding. The source explained it like this:
"She doesn't care. She really doesn't. She's happy with Justin [Theroux]. She'll probably marry him. She's moved on. People don't want to believe it, but she has."
Now, this I believe. If Jennifer really wanted to experience a Brangelina wedding, she'd just make her own at home. Jen would make Justin Theroux wear a soft Brad Pitt mask she knitted with Brad's shed pubes. Then she'd put rubber lips on one of the garden lizards her dog caught, and call it Angie. Then as one her Precious Moments priest figurines presides over the ceremony, she'd bust in as Jennifer Aniston. Justin as Brad would drop garden lizard Angie, run to Jen and they'd re-consummate their true love in a bathtub full of ice cream soup. So yeah, Jen is over it (and yes, she's totally going to act out that scene on Brangie's real wedding day).
And about Angie's ring, which she wore while slithering around L.A. yesterday. People says it's 10 carats and cost around $1 million, but UsWeekly says it's 16 carats and cost around $500,000. Brad worked with jeweler Robert Procop for about a year on the ring and the diamond is supposedly conflict-free. The ring may be conflict-free, but it's not boring-free. Brad is a "design GENIUS" (- Brad Pitt) and RoboCop spent months looking for the perfect diamond, and this is the best they could come up with? RoboCop wasted his time. He could've just called QVC, because they have a ring just like that.
http://www.dlisted.com/2012/04/17/jenni ... -after-allHoly S***. I just went over to JJ to see what people were posting.
Are they joking or really this f*cked up?