What would you do?

[azraelle]

When unemployment runs out, savings exhausted, and state offers to retrain you, what do you do? You go for it. Again, ASSHOLE!

[Polgara69]

I grew up in a home where my parents fought all the time. Sometimes they tried to keep their arguments from us, sometimes we were dragged into the middle of them, sometimes we had to referee. If you think you're sticking together for the sake of giving your children a better life, you're kidding yourself. A war zone is not a good environment to raise children.

The best thing my parents did for everyone was to go their separate ways and divorce.

That's because they were incapable of being CIVIL for the sake of their children.

They decided to stay selfish and do as they pleased.
They did not want to do what's best for you children.

And seperating has it's pitfalls
Other NEW partners that alenate the child.
Stepfathers that rape the children.
Stepmothers that ignore the children.
new children that make the stepchildren SECOND CLASS children.

Children that are treated like footballs... kicked form one house to another.
Parents that get played against each other by the children.
Children that get spoiled by parents that feel guilt shattering their childs lives!

NEVER CONDONE BREAKING UP UNLESS A PARENT IS VIOLENT AND OR DESTRUCTIVE

I resent that seeing as my stepson still lives with me. That was his choice. I dont think he would have stayed in this house if I ignored him or raped him or let my future partners expose themselves to him or....jeez the list goes on!

[Fred75]

I grew up in a home where my parents fought all the time. Sometimes they tried to keep their arguments from us, sometimes we were dragged into the middle of them, sometimes we had to referee. If you think you're sticking together for the sake of giving your children a better life, you're kidding yourself. A war zone is not a good environment to raise children.

The best thing my parents did for everyone was to go their separate ways and divorce.

That's because they were incapable of being CIVIL for the sake of their children.

They decided to stay selfish and do as they pleased.
They did not want to do what's best for you children.

And seperating has it's pitfalls
Other NEW partners that alenate the child.
Stepfathers that rape the children.
Stepmothers that ignore the children.
new children that make the stepchildren SECOND CLASS children.

Children that are treated like footballs... kicked form one house to another.
Parents that get played against each other by the children.
Children that get spoiled by parents that feel guilt shattering their childs lives!

NEVER CONDONE BREAKING UP UNLESS A PARENT IS VIOLENT AND OR DESTRUCTIVE

I resent that seeing as my stepson still lives with me. That was his choice. I dont think he would have stayed in this house if I ignored him or raped him or let my future partners expose themselves to him or....jeez the list goes on!

Whats it say about his other parent when he choses you over them?
Must be pretty disappointing for him NOT to have more opportunity with his own parent!
Don't you think?

The main reason I post this stuff is so the childs home is not broken and he then gets to live strangers.
And I am not going to glorify step parenting when it's the result of FAILURE (the first marriage).

[Bouncy]

Whats it say about his other parent when he choses you over them?
Must be pretty disappointing for him NOT to have more opportunity with his own parent!
Don't you think?

The main reason I post this stuff is so the childs home is not broken and he then gets to live strangers.
And I am not going to glorify step parenting when it's the result of FAILURE (the first marriage).

You offer no personal experience to any situation you've ever commented on so whatever you say is just a bunch of statistics and jargon you've read and copied from elsewhere.

Save your judgmental comments for your mirror where they're far more appreciated by someone who has no handle on life.

[Fred75]

Whats it say about his other parent when he choses you over them?
Must be pretty disappointing for him NOT to have more opportunity with his own parent!
Don't you think?

The main reason I post this stuff is so the childs home is not broken and he then gets to live strangers.
And I am not going to glorify step parenting when it's the result of FAILURE (the first marriage).

You offer no personal experience to any situation you've ever commented on so whatever you say is just a bunch of statistics and jargon you've read and copied from elsewhere.

Save your judgmental comments for your mirror where they're far more appreciated by someone who has no handle on life.

What... So now I cant talk about the evils of heroin because I have never done it?

Honestly... I would have expected more from you than something a 16 year old would say!

[Bouncy]

What... So now I cant talk about the evils of heroin because I have never done it?

Honestly... I would have expected more from you than something a 16 year old would say!

Typical that you would divert the debate because you have nothing to offer on the current one. But I'll play along.....

Talk all you want about heroin. Find all the information out there you can on it and paste it here. Bombard us with it like you do relationship advice. Do you think people would listen to what you've copied or do you think they'd pay more attention to someone whose experienced what it's like to live with or be a user themself?

You know nothing about relationships that you can't find from a search engine. And that knowledge is about as helpful as all the searches you find on heroin and deserve the same amount of respect. Nothing more than a passing glance to be tossed aside.

[Bouncy]

Honestly... I would have expected more from you than something a 16 year old would say!

I expect nothing but judgmental garbage from you and that's precisely what you deliver.

[Fred75]

What... So now I cant talk about the evils of heroin because I have never done it?

Honestly... I would have expected more from you than something a 16 year old would say!

Typical that you would divert the debate because you have nothing to offer on the current one. But I'll play along.....

Talk all you want about heroin. Find all the information out there you can on it and paste it here. Bombard us with it like you do relationship advice. Do you think people would listen to what you've copied or do you think they'd pay more attention to someone whose experienced what it's like to live with or be a user themself?

You know nothing about relationships that you can't find from a search engine. And that knowledge is about as helpful as all the searches you find on heroin and deserve the same amount of respect. Nothing more than a passing glance to be tossed aside.

It's very obvious to any adult parent here that you reverted to 16 year old babble since you found my words hard to swallow. All because I never focused on the selfish desires of the adult. I just focused on the damage to the child.

[Polgara69]

I grew up in a home where my parents fought all the time. Sometimes they tried to keep their arguments from us, sometimes we were dragged into the middle of them, sometimes we had to referee. If you think you're sticking together for the sake of giving your children a better life, you're kidding yourself. A war zone is not a good environment to raise children.

The best thing my parents did for everyone was to go their separate ways and divorce.

That's because they were incapable of being CIVIL for the sake of their children.

They decided to stay selfish and do as they pleased.
They did not want to do what's best for you children.

And seperating has it's pitfalls
Other NEW partners that alenate the child.
Stepfathers that rape the children.
Stepmothers that ignore the children.
new children that make the stepchildren SECOND CLASS children.

Children that are treated like footballs... kicked form one house to another.
Parents that get played against each other by the children.
Children that get spoiled by parents that feel guilt shattering their childs lives!

NEVER CONDONE BREAKING UP UNLESS A PARENT IS VIOLENT AND OR DESTRUCTIVE

I resent that seeing as my stepson still lives with me. That was his choice. I dont think he would have stayed in this house if I ignored him or raped him or let my future partners expose themselves to him or....jeez the list goes on!

Whats it say about his other parent when he choses you over them?
Must be pretty disappointing for him NOT to have more opportunity with his own parent!Don't you think?
The main reason I post this stuff is so the childs home is not broken and he then gets to live strangers.
And I am not going to glorify step parenting when it's the result of FAILURE (the first marriage).

He had the choice to stay in the family home with me or go to his Dads or to go his Mums. He chose to stay with me. He sees his dad every weekend and his Mum every holiday. He is happy with the arrangement. And it wasnt my fault that the 1st marriage broke down so I am not responsible for what happened after that.

[Fred75]

He had the choice to stay in the family home with me or go to his Dads or to go his Mums. He chose to stay with me. He sees his dad every weekend and his Mum every holiday. He is happy with the arrangement. And it wasnt my fault that the 1st marriage broke down so I am not responsible for what happened after that.

So then...
Think the boy doesn't wish his parents behaved better so he could be home with them instead of with you?

Yes or no?

[Polgara69]

He probably does but their break up had nothing to do with him so there was no way he could influence it. So he is just making the best of the situation.

[Bouncy]

I just focused on the damage to the child.

That's all you can focus on. The question is why? Are you a damaged child? If so, it's about time that the adult dealt with it instead of continuing to act like a petulant child by demeaning and degrading any parent who has one.

[Bouncy]

It's very obvious to any adult parent here that you reverted to 16 year old babble since you found my words hard to swallow. All because I never focused on the selfish desires of the adult. I just focused on the damage to the child.

What's obvious is that you couldn't see that that's exactly what I did through my own personal experience. The damage it does to a child having to live in a war zone where two adults can't or won't behave in a mature manner and the child/ren suffer because of it. What's selfish is to continue to make everyone's life a misery because people like you believe it's best for all concerned to keep the family unit intact for no other reason than the fact that statistics and articles say so. Not because of any personal experience that you brought to the discussion. And why didn't you bring any? Because you're afraid to. You're vulnerable to what is or what was your life because you can't discuss it on a personal level. I can and I do and am not afraid to. Whatever the reasons are behind your hiding from these fears are your own. More power to you for remaining bitter and twisted and passing those judgmental attitudes on.

I'm a survivor. I made mistakes and bad choices and lived through them. I lived through the mistakes and bad choices that others made and I still came out the other side able to talk and share those experiences. I'm a happy person, in a happy marriage raising a child that is my own in every single way except biologically with the help of a step-father who has taught him respect, confidence and security and is far from being the second-class citizen you've labeled him as because an article told you to do so and for no other reason.

Your life, on the other hand, is a mystery and will continue to remain so because you're too afraid to be a human being and show a personal side that is limited to tossing insults about. You are more than welcome to that!

[Fred75]

I just focused on the damage to the child.

That's all you can focus on. The question is why?

Because that's where a parents OBLIGATION and RESPONSIBILITY lays when they bring children into the world.

[Fred75]

It's very obvious to any adult parent here that you reverted to 16 year old babble since you found my words hard to swallow. All because I never focused on the selfish desires of the adult. I just focused on the damage to the child.

What's obvious is that you couldn't see that that's exactly what I did through my own personal experience. The damage it does to a child having to live in a war zone where two adults can't or won't behave in a mature manner and the child/ren suffer because of it. What's selfish is to continue to make everyone's life a misery because people like you believe it's best for all concerned to keep the family unit intact for no other reason than the fact that statistics and articles say so. Not because of any personal experience that you brought to the discussion. And why didn't you bring any? Because you're afraid to. You're vulnerable to what is or what was your life because you can't discuss it on a personal level. I can and I do and am not afraid to. Whatever the reasons are behind your hiding from these fears are your own. More power to you for remaining bitter and twisted and passing those judgmental attitudes on.

I'm a survivor. I made mistakes and bad choices and lived through them. I lived through the mistakes and bad choices that others made and I still came out the other side able to talk and share those experiences. I'm a happy person, in a happy marriage raising a child that is my own in every single way except biologically with the help of a step-father who has taught him respect, confidence and security and is far from being the second-class citizen you've labeled him as because an article told you to do so and for no other reason.

Your life, on the other hand, is a mystery and will continue to remain so because you're too afraid to be a human being and show a personal side that is limited to tossing insults about. You are more than welcome to that!

Sounds more like your wearing your pain like a badge of honor (your soo proud of it).
You sound like what's her name that just started college and hated her dad because he left her mum.
She too said her broken home made her stronger.
That's just bullshit to hid the pain.

And if you really think your healthier... how come you have none of your own kids?