Why fat women?

[wehstheatrebabe]

I understand where you are coming from, but if you'll reread his message, you'll notice that several times, he said, I know this sounds rude, or something to the effect, but he appologized for it before he said it. You may just need to read a bit more carefully.

[Illysook]

I'm 40, I wear a size 14, and I am 5'2" some of my girlfriends are larger than me. I'm single and looking, but as I scout around, I watch how guys treat my larger friends, a lot of guys will treat them like they don't even exist. This makes me angry because these women are my friends and they are sooo great on the inside. In addition to this, I used to get a bit hung up on looks. I said: "Why date ugly men, they usually aren't any prettier on the inside than any otherwise attractive man" and this was usually true...and then I met this pudgy middle aged man who turned out to be the best lover that I ever had. My advice to people who are hung up on looks is don't look, touch. And then touch some more. After all, sex is supposed to feel good, not look good.

[Russ T Bitz]

Thanks for your words.

The problem here (not so much a problem per se but I've been working all day and can't think of a better word!) is a common one - many women expect men to view sex in the same way they do (and vice versa), and that's flawed from the outset. I'd say 90% of sexual attraction for men is visual (and before all the feminists shoot me down for this, it's not something we have any control over) so it's inevitable we are going to be reluctant in approaching a woman we aren't physically attracted to.

[Illysook]

Recognize that the media plays a huge role in our culture and that you have had images of skinny women shoved down your throat your whole life and then go look at some good art. Some of the most beautiful women who ever lived were not thin by any definition and gazing upon their nude portraits should open your mind at least a little so that you can decide for yourself as to what is sexually attractive, instead of believing what some magazine or television editor is trying to tell you.

[Russ T Bitz]

No no, society doesn't tell us what we find sexually attractive, nature (ie our own bodies) does that. If I may use an extreme example for a moment (and I apologise for using this distressing reference), what about paedophiles? Society doesn't tell them to find children attractive.

But I don't want to drag this too off-topic, and once again I apologise for using that as an example.

[Illysook]

Are you kidding? You mean those little barbie dolls with no hair on their ____'s don't look like little girls? Our culture definitely sexualizes children. Nature makes women and men in all different shapes and sizes so that we can enjoy this variety. Nature determines that a man will be attracted to a woman who appears to be fertile. That extra padding often means extra fertility and when you compare the venus of Willendorf to the typical centerfold, well, the girl with the staples looks like she has been neutered. Don't tell me that you can't help it, you can learn to appreciate the beauty in every woman if you try. I know lots of men who do this and they get laid all the time, how often do you get any? I'd guess not very much with your whiny, victim of nature attitude. Not very much at all. I'm certainly not attracted.

[Russ T Bitz]

Thank you very much for your comments.

[A Man]

Sammy 13 - Who would you choose between if you were getting eyed up by one of these two men in a bar on a Saturday?

a) Brad Pitt

b)Norm from Cheers

Case closed.

I don't find large women (as in VERY large, not just carrying an extra dress size or two) attractive, not just because of the size issue, but it gives off (to me anyway) a lack of self-respect and laziness that could spill over from not being able to walk past McDonald's without going in to more important aspects of their lives. A woman who is a stone or two overweight - not a problem, but generally size 18 plus is a by-product of GREED and that goes for both genders. It is unrealistic to expect somebody to fall in love with somebody who is obese.

Somebody who keeps themself in shape is more likely to keep their life in shape too.

[Lola]

Men are attracted to what they see, unlike women who tend to be attracted to what they feel.

Women are just as much visual creatures.

[angelbabe]

Some men love fat/bigger women, my friend is married to one I don't go for larger men but IMO there are not many of them about and a good personality might win me over.
I am fatter than I was, size 14/16 now, used to be a 12. My partner I know would prefer me thinner but my tummy still gets lots of cuddles

[mostirreverent]

Russ, like all of us has a right to have a preference. I think he was quite sensitive in the way he tried to preface his question

[rachael]

i agree with what he is saying. there has to be some attraction there in the first place, at the end of the day you can't have sex with someones personality. im sorry if that sounds harsh. i personally think that there is something beautiful in everyone. sometimes you see stunning girls with absolutly no personality, and then you see not so pretty girls who are fantastic to be around.
a pretty, slim girl is more likely to have confidence than someone who isn't so slim, and confidence is attractive.

[swee]

no you see its not the size or looks that matter your just a jackass, if you got to know one of the girls maybe you would be interisted instead of being a jerk and judging them on there size.... if you had kids you would tell them dont look and judge someone on there appearance, cause why is it always oh shes fat i dont like her or oh hes fat i dont want him.. why do people alwas JUDGE ON LOOKS... GET TO KNOW THEM FIRST THEN SEE IF YOU REALLY LIKE THEM INSTEAD OF BEING STUPID it may be your real chance of being in love with someone EVEN IF THEY ARE FAT OR UGLY your just stupid

i don't see how russ' post was in any way offensive. how is he a jackass? i personally tend to go for white men (i'm mixed race btw) and there is no conscious decision there, its just my preference. therefore because i am not sexually attracted to black men am i a racist? am i declaring by my preference that my black brothers and sisters (in my family) are lesser than i?
come on girl, i think u have a chip on ur shoulder.
i prefer men my height, i'm 6ft, why shouldn't i?
i prefer men who shave their balls, hey if i'm rollin it round my mouth i don't want a mouthful of pubes.
i train with weights, dance, model, and prefer men in good shape, so what? doesn't mean i respect others any less.
personal preference luv, personal preference. i could post about how at over 6ft i get loadsa short guys comin on to me. means nothing. but i'd probably get a loada negative feedback from those people here with major issues.