Smoothest Literary Heroes

3 months ago 21st Aug 10:23

Ian Fleming’s fictional secret agent James Bond is in a league of his own as far as the smoothest literary heroes of all time are concerned, while 101 Dalmations’ leading lady Cruella de Vil has been rated the coldest maiden in a new research project released today.

The study was commissioned by Del Monte® Smoothies to celebrate summer’s coolest iced refreshment.  A team of academics were tasked with researching the leading literary men who ooze charm, sophistication and persuasiveness and the females who are considered the most cold, cruel and guarded.

Led by Professor John Sutherland from University College, London, literary expert and Chair of the Judges for the Man Booker Prize (2005), the team spent two months trawling the annals of literature to produce the first report of its kind before their findings were voted on by more than 2,000 people.

The research reveals the smoothest hero in literature is 007, thanks to his macho charm which sees him enjoying a string of affairs with glamorous women, seducing them with lines such as 'That's quite a nice little nothing you're almost wearing. I approve.' (Diamonds Are Forever).

He may not have given a damn in the end, but Rhett Butler from Margaret Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind has been voted a real smoothie by wooing Scarlett O’ Hara with a lingering kiss and the line 'I want you to faint'. 

Completing the top three is Hannibal Lecter from Thomas Harris’ psychological thriller The Silence of The Lambs who admits 'I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti'.

Irvine Welsh’s Sick Boy (Trainspotting) charms under-age girls with the complacent line 'I’m a lover not a fighter', while Bram Stoker’s Dracula is silky smooth when he opens the door to Jonathan, saying 'Welcome to Castle Dracula, Mr Harker' before imprisoning him there. 

Michael Dobbs’ Conservative Chief Whip Francis Urquhart (House of Cards) gets around difficult questions with the phrase 'You may very well think that... I couldn’t possibly comment'.

Completing the top ten are Don Vito Corleone from Mario Puzo’s The Godfather, Alec in Thomas Hardy’s Tess of the D’urbervilles, Jay in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby and Voldemort in J K Rowling’s Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire.

Jacqueline Walters says; :While all of these characters are smooth operators, their endgames vary James Bond successfully seduces a string of women and Francis Urquhart advances his career, Dracula and Hannibal Lecter have a more sinister aim.  What they share is their ability to use their charm to get what they want."

Smoothest Heroes in Literature:

1 James Bond (James Bond series by Ian Fleming)

2 Rhett Butler (Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell)

3 Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris)

4 'Sick Boy' (Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh)

5 Dracula (Dracula by Bram Stoker)

6 Francis Urquhart (House of Cards by Michael Dobbs)

7 Don Vito Corleone (The Godfather by Mario Puzo)

8 Alec (Tess of The D’urbervilles by Thomas Hardy)

9 Jay (The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald)

10 Voldemort (Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire by J K Rowling)

When it comes to female literary characters, Dodie Smith’s fur-loving Cruella de Vil in 101 Dalmatians has been voted the iciest literary figure.  Her assertion that 'We lose more women to marriage than war, famine and disease', suggests perhaps that it is not just the spotted dogs who ought to feel afraid!