Please can you tell ours readers what to expect from your current book, More Than Just Sex?
MORE than just SEX is for anyone who is either too scared of rejection to even introduce themselves to a girl they like, or, sick and tired of meaningless dating and ready for more. It a sure fire way to gain and then maintain a meaningful relationship and is based on tireless research with the very subject of the book, hot women the world over.
It is a definitive guide for men, however to what extent does it appeal to women?
The book is not really aimed at women (there are plenty of female relationship books on the selves but very little for men) and what is there tends to be from the Pick Up Artist school of action. This is not really a book for women and definitely not for Pick Up artists either, it is for REAL men who want a REAL relationship.
Why did you want to write a book to help men find love?
I became aware that almost every time I hung out with friends (both male and female) the subject of relationships was always on the agenda. My male friends complaining that they either couldn’t get a girl and my female friends complaining that there were ‘no good men out there’ even though I knew lots. However when I looked further I found that these ‘good’ guys turned into ‘someone else’ when confronted with a girl they liked. They try to impress, preen, posture talk about themselves and there ‘stuff’ while the women was left wondering where the good guys have all gone. Either that or the gut was too scared of rejection to even go over and say hi… as if their very self worth was on show and there to be judged. It just doesn’t have to be so difficult and so I wrote this book.
What was the most surprising thing you found when interviewing the women for your book?
I think the most surprising thing was either just how many men are terrified to approach women they like or, how many really hot women really wish guys would just come over and say hi. Yes hot women get hit on all the time but it turns out that it’s seldom by guys that they actually want to meet. Success with the opposite sex is not about the best ‘line’ or the slickest ‘technique’ it’s about being real and externalizing the ‘real’ you so that she ‘gets’ you in less than 4 seconds and then staying out of your own way long enough to be successful.
When did you realise you wanted to help people succeed in love?
I think that comes back to all those conversions with female friends where they complained about not being able to find a ‘good’ guy while I knew hundreds… it was this disconnect that began to fascinate me.
How much did your background in neuro linguistic programming, life coaching and hypnotherapy help you to produce this book?
There is a lot of NLP and hypnosis in the book in fact although I maybe shouldn’t say this the book is actually written in a special way using lots of psychological techniques so that no only does the guy learn as he reads, he actually changes too.
What is the best piece of advice we can take from your book for a man looking for love?
Stop trying to impress with your ‘stuff’ and start impressing her with ‘you.’ You are likely impressive enough already and your ‘stuff’ is probably actually getting in your way.
What one thing did you learn from writing this?
As I’ve said before, that hot women are actually sick of waiting for you to approach them and if you do they are just as fed up of you not living up to billing. Be real, be you and be comfortable walking over and saying hi… it doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that.
How much of your advice do you apply in your own relationship?
No one is perfect and I’m sure I’m not either but if a normal guy from the west of Scotland can do well then so can anyone else.
How do you feel about the lack of books that focus on a male perspective on relationships?
Men definitely need help. The only thing that’s been available till now is about how to be a Pick Up Artist and those guys have not taken kindly to my book offering a credible alternative to their manipulative techniques and games. So while the Pick Up guys are not happy about it the women you are trying to attract are very happy that there is now a guide to gaining and maintaining a ‘meaningful’ relationship. It’s long over due and as one celebrity fan put it…’if you’re a REAL man looking for the really hot girl who’s right for you then this is a MUST BUY. Ali’s insights into the female mind are priceless!’ Katie Price x
Interview by Lucy Walton