I enjoy writing sex scenes - if you hadn't already guessed by reading my books - but I think there is a knack for writing 'good' ones, which I hope I do. Below I've shared a few pointers and tips on what I think makes a good sexy scene work well!
Pleasure Island
1). No sex for sex's sake! Sex scenes should always be integral to the story/characters - good advice for life too!. That may sound obvious but a sex scene really jars if it's just thrown in there gratuitously. There needs to be a little build up and scene setting to make it sound believable. I always ask myself, would it really happen like this in real life? Would someone actually say that? I suppose I draw from my own experience/feelings occasionally (although I do have a good imagination). If it's yes then it goes in! Sex is an integral part of life and love (and sometimes other reasons) and it has a place, but I never ever write it just for the sake of it.
2) Sex isn't always good, let's face it. Often bad/uncomfortable/difficult sex is the most authentic sounding. It doesn't always have to be mind-blowing orgasmic stuff to be powerful. Many of my characters have found themselves having sex for many reasons, so I always think about their motives. Why are they doing what they're doing and how does it make them feel; guilty, dirty, is it a means to an end? Are they doing it out of duty, to benefit themselves somehow or purely for lust or is it true love? I think about the message it conveys; is this a loving scene, or is this just pure unadulterated lust? I bear in mind my storyline and the characters and remember that it doesn't always have to be 'great' sex to be great to read.
3). Less is more. At least when it comes to writing sex scenes, though maybe more is more in real life! Sometimes, as in life, it's what you don't say rather than what you do! I've read some real cringy, toe-curling sex scenes (and also some brilliant ones) whereby the pudding has been over-egged. I try not to use too many adjectives or be overly descriptive. I focus more on how the characters are feeling as opposed to what they are mechanically doing. I don't underestimate my reader's imagination! I think it's better to allow someone to imagine what's happening in a scene than to describe every little detail, as this can often lead to overkill, and those curly toes! I also choose my descriptive words carefully and think to myself, if I was going to confide in my best friend about a night of passion I'd had, what words would I use, this is always a good test.
4. If, how can I put this, what I'm writing gets me in the mood, then I'm fairly sure it might do that for some of my readers too, hopefully, so if it makes me feel amorous then this is always a good sign when I write about sex between two characters. Men are much more visual than women when it comes to being turned on but I think women like to use their imaginations more. It's really doesn't have to be all romance, hearts and flowers, sometimes it's enjoyable to include a few lustful fantasies that include a little of the 'throw down' factor -newsflash! Women enjoy sex too!5. Don't make it sound like porn, unless you're writing about a porn star in which case…By this I mean you need to include a lot of what the character is feeling at the time rather than just the mechanics of what is taking place, otherwise it will just sound emotionless and smutty. If my character is somewhat emotionless and smutty however, then I explain why and what he/she is feeling to make it sound more authentic. I also think humour has an important part to play in authenticity too; after all, sex can be a funny, messy business in every sense!
6. I'm not a big fan of words that describe genitalia, find them a bit ew. I ask myself, would I say to a friend, 'he had a huge penis?' or would I say 'he was well blessed in that department'? If a character uses sexual words to describe something in dialogue then this is OK, but in isolated narrative I think about the words I use. I never use derogatory words in my isolated narrative narrative to describe female body parts.
7. Never underestimate the power of a kiss! Kissing is romantic and usually the prelude to something more. I love a long, passionate kiss and think they're underrated in many sex scenes. I find that kissing bonds my characters as it does people in real life. If a man doesn't enjoy kissing and just wants to get straight down to business then I'd see a big red flag! Kissing sets a scene and can be really powerful in evoking emotions. I think kissing scenes are often more erotic than anything else. More kissing please!
8. I try to avoid using clichés or anything that sounds naff or sleazy. If the sex scene itself is deliberately sleazy then I prefer to use dialogue to get that point across. Imagine in real life if a man used a whole bunch of clichés on you in a bid to seduce you…it would be like, taxi!9. The senses. Sight, sound, touch, taste and smell…these are tools I use to make a good sex scene authentic and erotic. The deep blue of their eyes, the shallow sound of breathing, the taste of lips, the scent of skin, the touch of hair…just like in real life it's these details that we often remember and think about afterwards rather than the act itself. And ultimately it's about how it made you feel.
10. The climax. (if you're lucky). In my opinion these are the hardest to write without sounding a bit naff so I'm always careful to apply the less is more rule, although, depending on the character, I have been known to go for it, after all, who doesn't want an earth shattering orgasm?
Pleasure Island (bookouture) by Anna-Lou Weatherley is out on July 31st in paper back and e-book available from amazon.