The TV was on as always, for Oliver's benefit, but goodness knows why, as he could neither hear nor see. Buckingham was curled up on the rug, but looking strangely and intently up at Oliver in a way that Angela had never seen before.
Buckingham
"I'm going to give him the surprise of his life. He won't know what's happened and I'll keep my paws crossed and just hope he doesn't die of shock."
Suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, Buckingham leapt onto Oliver's lap. Oliver threw his arms up in the air as if the end of the world had come, whilst Angela screamed as if someone had just attacked her from behind. "Bucks, what the bloody hell do you think you're doing?"
Plainly incensed, she went to grab hold of Buckingham to get him off Oliver's lap. Buckingham refused to let her do this, sticking his claws into Oliver's blanket. Once over the initial shock, Oliver's reaction was both extraordinary and unbelievable. He actually started stroking Buckingham's fur putting his hands deep into it and gently kneading it. Buckingham responded with a purr as loud but as smooth as the sound of the tick over of a Rolls Royce engine. Absolute purr -fection!
"Now that's more like it. That's what I hoped and wanted you to do. I'm going to keep purring because I like what you are doing and I know you like what you are doing. Angela, bless her, was well out of order, but then she wasn't to know my ingenious strategy. Oliver, I'm sorry, but from now on I'm in charge and you're going nowhere without me."
Seeing the sudden change in Oliver, who now had the most extraordinary look of contentment on his face, shocked Angela so much that, perhaps against her better judgement, she decided to leave Buckingham to his own devices. He obviously knew exactly what he was doing, so she asked him:
"Bucks that was a very clever but stupid thing to do. It could have been disastrous. In fact you might have killed Oliver. Where did you get that idea from? You know you've made a rod for your own back now, or rather a lap for your own bum, and now you've made a relationship for yourself with a serious commitment. Do you really think you can handle it, after all, you're only a cat for God's sake?"
Buckingham, having now firmly positioned himself on
Oliver's lap, looked at Angela:
" Y ou underestimate my strategy. I've been watching him closely for some time and it was a pre-determined gamble that paid off. He can touch as much as he likes and he can feel as much as he likes and I can purr as much as I like - and as loud as I like and he will feel that too! He will now have, as far as I am concerned, a wonderful quality of life - that he is rightfully entitled to."
It wasn't long before Oliver and Buckingham became inseparable and Angela often had a problem getting Buckingham off Oliver's lap when it came time for Oliver to retire. Buckingham seemed to become very protective, even over protective at times, but Oliver now had something to live for. Those big, beautiful cat's eyes continually caught Angela off guard.
" Y ou know what, Angela, if I couldn't see or hear I think I'd make a reservation in pussycat heaven, that is if they'd have me but then we have nine lives and he has one!"
Angela found herself muttering to herself
"He's just a cat. He's not even a human. He's just a cat
- a totally stupid, wonderfully unbelievable cat!"
Buckingham by John Schroeder (Matador) is out now in paperback, priced £10.99. Visit www.johnschroeder.co.uk