Female First? Believe it or not I am actually recorded as ‘Male’ on my Birth Certificate! Yep, in the box opposite ‘Sex’ is a great big ‘M’which apparently nobody noticed or, if they did, didn’t believe was something worth correcting. It’s never caused any hassle with passports or legal documents and such throughout life and for some reason I’ve become sentimentally attached to the mistake and have never bothered to have it corrected myself.
Deirdre Eustace
The hundreds-year old thatched house that I grew up in was also the lifelong home of my great-grandfather, Frank Dwan, who, while travelling to visit his children who had emigrated to America, perished on the Titanic. His body was never recovered and I often wonder whether it was his story that began the absolute fascination I have with the sea and its passion, power and mystery.
I had a beautiful card from my sister before the launch of ‘Finding Alison’ and in it she penned a little quote from Daphne du Maurier:
“The child destined to be a writer is vulnerable to every wind that blows.”
Ever since childhood I have always been ultra-sensitive, both in how and what I feel myself and also in my perception of other people’s hurt and pain – something that has often made life just a little more difficult. Decades ago in a writing workshop I was told that my greatest gift in writing was my compassion and I really didn’t fully understand what that meant at the time. But when I read that quote on my sister’s card something clicked and changed and for the first time I find myself embracing that sensitivity and truly appreciating the positive bearing it has had on my writing and on my life.
Although I am more than a bit of a child at heart, I am also quite old fashioned in some ways - for instance, I write every page of my manuscripts in longhand, with a fountain pen. For me, there’s something magical in the holding of the pen, the flowing of the wet ink; in seeing the characters and story unfold in your own hand across the page and it seems to lend a creativity that just does not exist for me when I tap a keyboard in front of a bright screen. I will quite happily write for up to eight hours a day – outdoors, in view and earshot of the sea, when possible – and then spend my evenings feeding the day's work into the computer.
I was reared on the majestic Copper Coast in the south east of Ireland, my home just steps from the wild Atlantic and the sea has always been a huge influence and inspiration in my writing. A diehard seasoul, I spent about twenty years living inland and know now that I could never again live without the sight and sound and smell of the sea which I often think of as womb water around me, nurturing and sustaining me.
Being left-handed, I believe, has helped me hugely in tapping into my creativity. I recently took a notion to learn how to play violin and immediately bucked against the predominant school of thought that recommends all violinists play right-handed, bowing with the right hand. Knowing I was never going to reach a standard that would see me playing in an orchestra and risking taking the eye out of someone by bowing in the opposite direction to everyone else, I set about searching out a left-handed violin (rarer than I’d thought) and eventually found myself a little beauty. When I play left-handed the music seems to flow with the same ease, passion and phrasing as when I write and the violin has given me a new means of expression that I absolutely adore!
A favourite pass time of mine is rooting around in vintage and charity shops for unusual or quirky clothes. I’ll often buy something and then dicky it up with ribbons or netting or braid or whatever on my Singer to make it my own. I love the thought of giving something that has lost it appeal or use for its previous owner and is maybe feeling discarded or rejected (that over-sensitivity again!) a whole new life and purpose. And I love when someone compliments it and I can almost feel it smiling!
My dream for years has been to own a Hymer Camper – not a shiny, modern job but one of those cream and brown ones from the late eighties, early nineties; the ones with the panoramic cab window, captain seats and the big U-lounge to the back. I love to daydream about hitting the road, writing, playing music, drifting – absolute heaven!
Through the years I’ve been a banker, reflexologist, social care worker and many other things in between but my first and lasting passion has always been writing. I can still remember the very first poem I wrote when I was about six years of age and the absolute pleasure and sense of accomplishment and fulfilment it gave me. The village of Bonmahon where I grew up had been a copper mining village in the 1800’s and along the cliffs there are lots of disused mines and blowholes. As a child I had my very own ‘secret’ one that I would climb down into and I’d sit there with a view of the strand and the sea below, my scrapbook of dog pictures and my pen and notebook always by my side. Writing now I still have that same beautiful feeling of peace and utter contentment that I felt way back then as a little girl.
The binds and inhibitions that we limit ourselves with through our fear of being judged or rejected by others is a recurring theme in my writing and if I could change one thing in the world I would love to find a way for all of us to banish those fears and gain the freedom to live life as our full, flawed and beautiful selves.
