Carry on Warrior

Carry on Warrior

What can you tell us about your new book Carry on Warrior?

 

Carry On, Warrior is about the brutality and beauty of life. I call life brutiful. It’s the story of my recovery from being a bulimic, alcoholic, and jerk; and my journey into motherhood, marriage, community and shaky faith. It’s about pain and hope. And it’s funny. I don’t know how anybody makes it through life without laughing at all its absurdity and miracles.

 

The book has been said to be this year’s Eat Pray Love, what was your reaction when you heard this?

 

This is the first time I’ve ever heard this. My reaction is that whoever said that should continue saying say it often and loudly and in front of very large groups of people.

 

Please tell us what your life was like in 2002 on Mother’s Day?

                                                                                                                                                           

I found out I was pregnant on Mother’s Day, after twenty years of binging, purging, boozing, and drugging. I hadn’t spent a single sober night with the father of the baby (now my husband of 11 years) and I had no business becoming a mother. I was running low on friends, family, health, sanity and other ideas. I got sober because I couldn’t think of anything else to try. I guess I ran out of creativity and energy, thank God. So I just decided to try showing up in the world as myself. It was terrifying and painful, like recovering from frostbite. My withdrawal was awful. I remember sitting on a friend’s bed just begging my hands and legs to stop shaking so hard. I lived on sugar for months. I ate a bag of chocolate chip cookies every single night. Whatever it takes, right? I gained 55 pounds, which is a big deal for a 5' 2'' lady. But I was sober, so I considered myself heroic and insanely motherly.

 

At what point did you want to be a mother?

 

A mother is always what I wanted to be. I just never thought I’d be prepared for it. I’m so grateful that the universe gave me my babies before I was ready. Left up to me, I’d still be hiding in a bar.

 

Please tell us about your charity Monkee See Monkee Do.

 

Women fill each other up so much on my blog, Momastery, that every once in a while there is an outpouring of community love. Monkee See – Monkee Do is the non-profit that was the organic result of the truth telling and hope spreading that happens at Momastery every day.

Roughly every four months, we have a giving fest, which we call a “Love Flash Mob.” It goes like this: A few weeks before Carry On, Warrior, was released in the states, I revealed the cover on Momastery with a link to Amazon, where it could be preordered. My editor called me eight hours later in tears. The book was number four on their bestseller list. Carry On, Warrior was the only book on the list that hadn’t even been released yet. I was feeling so grateful, and I felt like I had to do something for the community that was doing something for me.

I opened up an email and it was a mom in Indiana who runs an organization that houses and educates pregnant teen girls. She had contacted my publisher and she asked if I could speak at their center. She sent me a beautiful letter about how much she cares about these girls, and she told me she had no money to bring me out, but begged me to come anyway. I thought: “Perfect. This is how I am going to show my gratitude.” So, I agreed to pay my way to the fundraiser and we ended up becoming friends.  One day she said she had just had an interview with a 14-year-old girl who had a four-month-old baby and they had to turn her down because they didn’t have the funding. I asked her how much money they would need to take her in. It was $83,000. I said, “If I raise that for you in the next two days, will you go get her and bring her into the house now?” She said she would.

I wrote a letter to the Momastery readers. I said, “We’re going to raise $83,000 in two days and no one can give more than $25. It’s not a competition and nobody is more important that anyone else. If you’re a single mom with $7, you’re going to be making as big a different as anyone else.”  For me, Love Flash Mob day is so intense, because you just stare at your computer, watching the money come together – but no single person can make it happen, write a check for the difference – instead, you just have to trust that women all over the world care enough. Anyway, five and a half hours later we had the money. We got donations from 15 different countries. We were done at 3 p.m., and they went to find the teenage mama and her baby and gave them a home, that same night.  Her baby slept in his own warm crib that night. She’s back in school now. She wants to be a doctor. I flew out to visit her and her little man last month. The two of them are freaking miracles to me.

We have an all-volunteer Monkee See – Monkee Do Board.  They work their Monkee asses off all day. No one is paid, so 100% of what comes to us goes to other families. It makes people feel that if they give $5 it makes a difference.

We also have a program called Holiday Hands, which is like a Craigslist for people who need some help. During the holiday season, givers match themselves with a family in need, and this past year over $200,000 was exchanged among families. It was unbelievable.

And this kind of giving goes on year-round behind the scenes. This year, we gave away ten breast pumps, turned on a mom’s heat, and bought two headstones for mothers whose babies had passed. The beauty of all of this is that the giving doesn’t stay on the blog, it moves out into communities. People are inspired by what happens at Momastery and they create similar projects in their own neighborhoods.

I think we’re all scared and that we think there’s something wrong with us – and that’s what’s holding us back from doing things that are good.  I think that we have to figure ourselves out before we go out there and help others. For me, everything is continually falling apart no matter how much I think I have it together. At Momastery, we’re realizing that things can be messy and you can still be engaged – it’s just being human that makes us messy.

Marriage, life, and parenting – it’s hard, not because you’re doing it wrong. It’s just hard. What makes it better is coming together and telling the truth and knowing there’s no magic cure to the hardness. One of our mantras is:  We Can Do Hard Things.

 

What was your lowest point?

 

Oh, how could I pick just one? When I was in college, the president of my sorority stood up at a meeting and announced “If you are going to jail, please don’t wear your sorority letters. It makes us look really bad.” Everybody turned to look at me. I shrugged my shoulders.

When did your bulimia begin?

 

When I was eight.  I was born insanely sensitive and at a very young age I sensed that my needs and feelings were “too much” for the regular world. So I made my own little world – addiction –and lived there for a long, long time. Addiction is a dramatic hiding place, but we all have them. Unkindness, apathy, co-dependence, perfectionism, overworking – they’re all places we hide so we don’t have to be seen or hurt.

 

 

Please tell us how writing has helped you to heal.

 

My writing is about fighting my disease by refusing to be ashamed of being human. Writing is my own personal 12-step meeting.  We’re only as sick as our secrets, right?  I don’t keep any secrets. When I started publishing my stories, my dad called and said, “Jesus, Glennon – don’t you think there are some things you should take to the grave?” And I said, “No. I want to travel light.”

 

Your criminal record was growing in 2002, so what had you been convicted of?

 

All of my arrests were for drinking-related shenanigans. Most of them were of the “Drunk-In- Public” variety – you know, passing out in parking lots and such.

 


What is next for you?

 

There are rumors of TV and book #2 and lots of other fancy things, but for me, staying sane is about taking things small and one at a time. And just doing the next right thing.  So I’m going to keep showing up for myself, my family and friends, and my Momastery community. I’m going to keep serving women because I just freaking love women. I’m going to keep doing the next right thing and keep telling the truth .I’m going to resist the urge to be amazing and just be good enough with time leftover to rest. I don’t know where I’m going, but I know how I’m going to get there. My means will justify whatever ends are out there.


by for www.femalefirst.co.uk
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