How Not To Murder Your Grumpy

How Not To Murder Your Grumpy

What can you tell us about your new book How Not to Murder Your Grumpy?

 

The book is a spin off from my first two successful novels and is, in essence, a fun trivia, anecdotal non-fiction book. It’s tongue-in-cheek but there are many inspirational ideas in there too to keep anyone occupied. Of course, it is laced with an enormous dollop of humour.

 

I regularly receive emails from women who say they are married to a grumpy old man just like the character Phil in my first two books. In both of the novels, his wife, Amanda tries desperately to keep him entertained after he retires and mooches about the house. Her efforts all lead to comedic consequences. I often get asked “How do you keep a retired man occupied?”  I decided to write a book that would appeal to all these women who were worried about their husbands facing retirement. It seemed a logical step, especially as I also write articles and give talks about “Irritable Male Syndrome”. This affects a lot of men as they get older and having something to focus on, can help diffuse some of the symptoms they might suffer.

 

Why did you decide to use your husband as a guinea pig for this book?

 

The simple answer is: because he’s a retired old grumpy! He retired a few years ago and suddenly found himself without a purpose. Having spent all his life running a business, he hadn’t had time for hobbies or activities, and so hadn’t anything to fall back on apart from a keen interest in stock markets. I am quite imaginative and tried to cajole him into new pursuits or pastimes so I could get some time back for myself. Having a man at home full-time can thwart your own activities (especially trips to the shops and beauty salon!)  Some suggestions were more successful than others. Some he flatly refused to attempt. You can only “lead a horse to water...”


For those women who don't yet have a grumpy man at home, how can they enjoy this book?

 

You don’t need to have a grumpy at home to appreciate the humour of this book. It is a fun read and the jokes, stories and humour should carry it along regardless of who you are. It is aimed at anyone who fancies a laugh and would make a super gift for a man or a woman.

 

You studied English at Keele University, so how much has this helped you to write this book?

 

I adored Medieval Literature (particularly Chaucer) but became fascinated by linguistics. I loved breaking down the language and seeing how it could influence the reader. At one stage I considered going into advertising where I would make full use of persuasive language and I was signed up to take a Masters in Linguistics but, at the eleventh hour, I went off to Morocco to teach, intending to return and continue my education but of course, I didn’t. I still love to play about with words and there are often little “messages” hidden in my books.

 

I also studied French, along with English, and surprisingly it has been my love of French Literature that has possibly influenced my writing which is always light-hearted. Voltaire’s novel Candide, which is in my opinion one of the most humorous books written, entertained me hugely.

 

Recurring medical problems forced you to change careers, so how did this make you feel?

 

My attitude is that sometimes things happen for a reason. It was a conscious decision to come out of teaching languages to become a personal trainer. Having discovered that doing the right exercises could help someone like me with a history of back operations and problems, I thought it would be a good idea to go into a different form of education. I worked mostly with older people who had undergone surgery and maybe needed a more mature personal trainer who could empathise with them. It was very rewarding and kept me fit too.

 

You also write articles that poke fun at ageing, so when was it that you found your niche?

 

I have always poked fun at myself. It started many years ago at school when I decided it was better to joke about myself before anyone else got the chance to. Humour has always played a large part in my life - you can’t teach English or French a group of testosterone-fuelled rugby playing sixteen year-olds without injecting some humour into lessons - but it was as I approached fifty that I discovered if I joked about my eyesight, or those things that happen as we get older, with other women, it got a big laugh. People would often tell me I should be a comedienne or write down my stories. I decided rather than do stand up I’d write to make people laugh. It’s a lot easier to accept changes in our lives if we can laugh about them. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.


Why is it important to age disgracefully?

 

As my octogenarian mother would say, “I’m here for a good time, not a long time.” We aren’t on this planet for too long and just because we are not thirty years old doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy ourselves. I don’t advocate tearing about the streets on an invalid scooter blaring Eminem music from a “ghetto blaster” and swearing at everyone – although, I might be tempted to have a go at that in time to come. By using the words “ageing disgracefully” I mean to behave differently to the way we are expected to behave. We are not expected to go abseiling or pole-dancing, paragliding, wing-walking, or take up learning to tango in Argentina, but we could, and indeed many have. Age shouldn’t be a barrier to challenges, although I accept that ill health, or certain circumstances, might dictate otherwise. The people who get the most out of this life, and who continue to look youthful and enjoy it the most, are the people who are willing to embrace life, even when they are in their eighties and nineties.

 

What is the appeal of people who write from personal experience?

 

If you write from personal experience it not only gives your writing more realism and kudos but allows you to adopt a friendly writing style. You can “chat” to your audience as if they are in the same room as you. That seems to appeal to my readers who often say they feel as if they’ve had a jolly good chinwag with a friend after reading one of my books.

 

What is your writing process?

 

I spend months plotting and planning in my head. Sometimes I’m running through two books at once. I run each novel or book through my brain as if it were a film before I start the actual writing. This is the hardest part and will involve many sleepless nights as I try to fathom out the order of events, characters and if plots or twists are credible.

 

The next stage requires a few weeks of typing the first draft. I work every morning, afternoon and most nights until it is completed. One of the bonuses of getting older for me has been becoming an insomniac. I can spend nights working quietly in my office. You can tell when I am writing because I look like a panda that has been in a fight.

 

When I have finished the draft, I ignore it for at least a month. After which time, I’ll buy in quite a few bags of jelly sweets and get working on the draft, reworking it and then editing it. By the end of the process, I need a trip to the dentist. Last time, I broke a crown on some rather hard chewy sweets, so now I eat jelly snakes and fruit jellies. They help me concentrate! I leave the book alone for a further month and go and write something else, before doing the second run-through and edits. Once I am satisfied I can’t see any more errors, I send it to three beta readers who I trust. They come back with comments and eagle-eyed observations, and I edit again. The script then goes to the publisher who sends it for further edits and finally proof reading

 

What is next for you?

 

I completed Just Add Spice earlier this year. That is with the editor and will be released later this year. A second “Grumpy” book, the sister to this one for women of a certain age, is also in the process of being edited but I don’t know when it will be released. I am now writing a third Amanda Wilson novel which I intend finishing by August this year and I have already begun drafts on a book, inspired by my husband, which I hope will appeal to a largely male audience. I also have all my blogging and articles for various websites too. Oh, and I might get try to fit in some sleep at some point and a couple more visits to the dentist!

 


by for www.femalefirst.co.uk
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