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I dream of you in the midnight hours
when I am scared
and afraid.
You are a safe haven for my frenzied heart
when all seems to be shattering,
crumbling,
disintegrating,
when I have lost my footing,
and no safe places remain,
I run to you..
It is unfair of you to keep me at bay
yet you hold me in reserve.
Despite knowing all this,
faster still,
I run to you..
Sadistically, the frightened child in me
clings desperately to the false security
of having you
to fall away on
to fall back on
to rest in,
Head long and head strong,
I run to you..
Any time
you want
you could cut my lifeline
my tenacious hold
my dangerous grasp;
I won't understand...
Yet, I run to you.
I am a wicked child
an impetuous woman
who wants it all
yet I know I hold nothing
of your heart,
your passions,
your dreams,
your desires,
Yet,
I run to you..
I refuse to calculate the cost
of my friendship
my love
and my need for you
and how it entangles me,
and
yet, I run to you..
I am insensitive to your needs
and selfish in mine.
Desiring to drag you down deeper into my soul
in my frantic pursuit
of being secure
protected
and cherished.
Time and time again,
I run to you.
I am an unfathomable mystery to myself
and I can not seems to cut you loose,
nor do I want to...
As I abandon all,
when I run to you..
What is wrong with me??
Such a selfish creature that I have become,
I paralyze even myself
and still,
I run to you.
I am appalled at my behaviour.
This is not me;
I am loving
and kind
and compassionate.
Yet, I am destructive when it concerns you.
Like a maelstrom
I seek to draw you into my private sexual web of intrigue,
passion and danger.
Time and time again,
I run to you..
I am petrified of my own thoughts
and my constant need to run to you
when the earth shakes
and my senses quake
and the storms roll in
and drown me in despair
and I reach out,
clutching
as I run to you..
What do you make of me?
Am I so evil that I trash your very core
in my wretchedness?
or are you content to remain
a safety net for my fearful heart?
Will you catch me,
if I run to you.
Tagged in Poetry