I strongly believe there isn't a single plate of food which couldn't be improved by adding an extra sausage. Or some bacon. Or an extra sausage and some bacon.
Addicted to Death
Without doubt the greatest gift I ever received as a child was the love from my family. They mean the world to me. End of debate. There are no words that I can use to express how fortunate I am to have them in my life.
Born in November I fall under the star sign of Scorpio. Loyal. Unyielding. Intuitive. Jealous. Resourceful. Secretive. Magnetic. And that's all before breakfast.
Never forget where you have come from. No, I'm not about to launch into a Take That song, but I am proud of my background and always will be. I was born in Bermondsey and lived on a council estate. And while I may have moved out into Kent, I haven't forgotten that my roots will always be planted firmly in South East London.
I have appointed myself as the champion of the Food Sapiens community. Food Sapiens are underrepresented and always overlooked, but once you recognise they exist, you will never look at the world in the same way again. Did you know famous food sapiens include the musicians Nat King Coleslaw, Polenta Faith and Curly Kale Minogue?
A bread roll brings back a wonderful childhood memory. I was never a cake fan, and as a child, while the other kids would choose doughnuts, cream éclairs or iced buns, I would opt for a dry bread roll. There is something deeply satisfying about taking a bread roll, breaking into the side with your finger, and scooping out the middle, leaving the shape of the roll intact. And trust me, the bread you've scooped out tastes so much better if you then roll it into a ball in your hand before eating it!
Embrace your own contradictions. I'm full of them; you're full of them; Food Sapiens are full of them. It's the contradictions that add colour, depth and spice to our personalities.
My musical taste is somewhat eclectic, but jazz and blues top the playlist. The combinations; the tempo; music for your every emotion. And it's especially good if you are in the mood for melancholy, which with my Scorpio nature, I visit from time to time!
Given the choice of being in a busy part of the world with lots of activity or being more secluded with just the sound of the sea in the background, I would take the seclusion 9 out of 10 times. The sound of waves breaking and crashing is like food for the soul.
I had to finish this list with the inevitable. Death. It's coming to us all at some stage so why shy away from it? Given my musical taste, I would like my last journey to be accompanied by the beautiful voice of Nina Simone. But please not Michael Buble. You'd run the risk of the congregation committing mass suicide at the crematorium…
Addicted to Death: A Food Related Crime Investigation (published by Clink Street Publishing July 14th 2015 RRP £8.99 paperback, RRP £4.99 ebook) is available to purchase from online retailers including amazon.co.uk and to order from all good bookstores.