There are so SO many things that I wish someone had told me pre to pushing a baby out of my vagina. To the point that when I did finally find myself with my new, gorgeous, milk scented bundle in my arms and trying to get my head around new motherhood, I felt somewhat cheated by the people “in-the-know”. You see, I’d read all the baby books, mummy blogs and parenting magazines going. I’d researched and brought all the baby gadgets known to baby kind and done a gazillion pelvic floor clenches. However, when myself and my tiny human were out the other side of childbirth and into the real world, I felt like I’d been kept in the dark about some of the most important things that were vital to my survivial in this new world I now found myself in.
Therefore, I’m making a stand for all you gorgeous mums and mums-to-be and lifting the lid on the things I wish I’d been privy to pre motherhood:
You will get it wrong
Throughout pregnancy (and hell throughout our lives as potential pro creators), we are bombarded with ideas and images that the moment we have a tiny human in our arms we become perfect, calm voiced and in control mums, who never get it wrong. And that this all comes naturally to us as we are female and therefore, pre-programmed to juggle a new baby, feed and sleep schedules like a pro, right?! Wrong! I would just like to let you know that, when you become a mum, you will get things wrong. You will get it wrong when it comes to why your baby isn’t sleeping/ feeding/acting like they said they would in all the books you’ve read. You will put their nappy on the wrong way or like myself not put it on tight enough to contain the poonami explosion from pebble dashing and staining anything within a three mile radius. You will wrongly assume your tiny human is crying to be fed only to then realise it’s because they need a nappy change or in fact that they just haven’t had a cuddle in the last two minutes. But, you know what? It’s OK. In fact it’s more than OK, it’s perfectly normal. And when you feel like you are getting everything wrong, please remember this; You are not getting it wrong you are in fact instead learning to be the most awesome mum you can be.
Ignore the judgement
All new mums will tell you, that at some point along their journey into new motherhood, they have felt judged. From the choices you make on how you feed your tiny human to the sleep schedule you’re following. To if you are a dummy giver, a baby carrier, a co-sleeper, a gentle-parent, a back-to-work-mum, a stay-at-home-mum… the never ending list goes on. At best it is irritating and at its worst, the judgement, makes us feel like we are not doing a good enough job. Therefore, just you remember this; As long as you are doing the best for your tiny human and yourself as a family, NO ONE has the right to pass judgement on your parenting choices.
YOU Matter Too
Yes, I know this is an alien thought after having a Tiny Human, as they have now become the centre of your world and you their chief carer. So, the thought of then having to consider yourself doesn’t even cross your mind. BUT it needs to and is vital that it does, if you are to keep well, healthy and strong enough for whatever motherhood throws at you. Not to mention the fact that, just like your tiny human you deserve to be taken care of as well.
You need to treat your mental health as importantly as your physical health
As new mums we are fully aware of the changes that can happen to us physically and the things we need to be doing to help our bodies recover our physical wellbeing. However, when it comes to our mental health, not so much. With one in 10 mums being diagnosed with a maternal mental health illness following childbirth this needs to change. We all need to empower ourselves to take care of our maternal mental health with the same importance as our physical health through pregnancy and into motherhood. Similar to our awareness of our physical health, every mum needs to be aware of the effects having a baby can have on our mental health, the warning signs and where to get the right help and support to keep ourselves both mentally and physically well.
You ARE a Good Enough Mum
There are so many times when we doubt ourselves as mums. Where we feel as though we are doing something or everything wrong. Where we question everything we are doing and come to the conclusion that we are not a good enough mum. Well, I am here to tell you the truth. YOU ARE A GOOD ENOUGH MUM! No matter what type of baby mess you find yourself covered in, no matter if you haven’t managed to put a wash on, leave the house or brush your hair. No matter what, your tiny human thinks that you’re not only good enough but that you ROCK! And they’re right, my lovely, you do!