Back in 2012 my wife Tanvi Naik was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. At the time we believed this would be a temporary glitch in our lives. Once it was over we could get on with our plans. However this was not the case and as time went on it was clear we had a battle on our hands. As months went on Tanvi was told she was terminally ill and it was just a matter of time before the cancer would take hold. Tanvi Passed away on the 5th June 2014 leaving behind a husband and 2 young girls.
So why write it?
I remember going back to church one day and someone said to me that it's good to see that I was moving on with my life. While their intentions were honest and sincere I felt like saying "but you can't see the scares, I'm still living that moment and you don't see that side." I felt dejected I've just been through Hell and no one knows, then that still quiet voice in my head said, write a book. The whole notion of me writing a book to me was insane as English was never a strong subject for me at school. However, that was the only way people were going to get a glimpse into our world. I want people to get a better understanding of the journey without, I pray, having to go through it themselves. Many people have been through a similar experience as me so it's not just my journey but ours. Countless others out there who have walked the same walk as me. In the beginning the hospital gave us a book called mummy's little lump and it was written for young children in the house. While it was very helpful and I can't express how grateful we were for having something to explain to the youngest what was going on. However as adults we are expected to have all the answers and be able to deal with whatever comes our way, unfortunately many people are so ill prepared for the road ahead and dealing with cancer and who can blame them it's not something you prepare for, but there was nothing out there and if there was I was not aware. I would have loved reading a book about someone else's experience, I did sit back and think where's my book, as I was completely out of my depth in dealing with cancer.
I have written this book not as a guide that this is how it will be, or you will feel this way or that way, as my experiences are based on my upbringing, cultural background and a man's perspective. But to say to people this is how I felt and these are the thoughts I had, does this relate to how you feel right now. We as men are not the best at opening up about how we feel so there is maybe an opportunity to say to men it okay to cry feel frustrated and to speak to someone about how you feel.
Also I wanted to show the bravery of one woman who would not give up. Who wanted to fight on and stay strong for her family and those around her. I never met someone like my wife who was so focused in fighting cancer. There are many women out there who are fighting Breast Cancer or any other forms of Cancer, fighting hard however they also need to be supported and lifted up in these times of need. So I hope this book will lap over into to other people's experiences and that they can connect with our experiences and continue to fight the good fight and never give up. So to me this book is not just my book but our book.
I decided on the title for the book - CANCER - A JOURNEYS END
Why this title, because it represents the final few years of the 16-year Journey of our Marriage on this earth. The book starts around the time when Tanvi was first diagnosed, how we tackled each pivotal point, our faith in Christ and our weaknesses, and how our faith has carried us through the Journey. I have written it as a timeline to ensure it is easy to follow. It's not an easy read and yes it's been tough to write, but it had to be done.