R Milton Quibner

R Milton Quibner

How High Should I Jump is an absurdly-provocative book written for men suffering from their woman's infidelity, or in fear of it. I say there are only a select few men, called Objects or Winners, who Today's Woman is actively seeking for sexual adventure. This small group of Achievers have no problems finding bed-mates, but what of the vast majority of the men who do not measure up to the standards of the Winner? Well, I urge these men, my readers, to take a different course, a more practical and ultimately rewarding journey to become Real Men and Good Partners to Today's Sexually Independent Women. The book is funny, intellectually-rich and heavily self-deprecating; I hold a mirror up to Selfish Male Behaviour so men can learn to laugh at themselves, as I aim to deflate much of the seriousness surrounding our relationships.

 

Why can’t some men keep up with today’s woman?

 

So many men are stuck in their view of the world, that life MUST revolve around them, but Today's Woman is no longer a servant or a whore to be used and disrespected. While some men understand that it is Woman's time now and are out facilitating and assisting them in their ambitions and desires, the vast majority of men have not accepted let alone understood the great sea change that has taken place, and are, in fact, clinging to the past while the future beckons before them. This partially explains the revival of machismo and the popularity of the Bad Boy Celebrity, but these repressive models will be short-lived as women demand and look for men who they can participate with while freeing them to explore their desires without resentment or jealousy.

 

Why is it important that no subject is taboo when writing a book like this?

 

Because we live in an age of instant access to all information, people are encountering and/or developing a myriad of niche behaviors that, all told, spell the Modern Human Condition; thus, it is critical to examine ALL tastes in order to form an appreciation and understanding of what it means to be human today, and where we might be tomorrow. Limiting the subject field and even censoring what is acceptable is an insult to the Human Spirit, which yearns to be free and set its own limits.

 

Can you give us some insight into your 30 years of research into the field.

 

At a critical juncture of my life, when I was mired in one betrayal after the next, I was introduced to the Classics and, importantly, the Pre-Classics. At first, I struggled to comprehend the significance of why I should put effort into those books from so long ago, but I sensed there was great value in these works and I persisted until a light dawned on me and I turned a corner in my understanding. I moved from being a victim of betrayal and deceit to becoming a student of it, historically and philosophically, which gave me the necessary understanding to 'see above the phenomenon' and limit the emotional damage I had been experiencing. Since this period, I have gone on to devote my life to decoding the Great Works and bringing them forward for my audience. I am no great scholar, more a hobbyist who loves that period of antiquity, the Golden Age of Greece and that which came before it.

 

Why is a woman being unfaithful one of men’s greatest dilemmas?

 

Though many men claim that infidelity today is no big deal and that open sexuality is -or should be- the norm, beneath this credo lies the truth, that men crave and need the nurturing and protection that only a woman can give. This sense of nurturing stirs great feelings of possessiveness in men, especially those who have yet to see women as their equals. These men essentially fear that, “If I let her off the chain, she'll screw everything in sight!” Now, most men, consciously or not, yearn for a stable home life with their wives 'where they can see them', which of itself is no problem if the husband isn't sneaking around and screwing his girlfriends yet demanding she be monogamous. For men who cling to this form of one-sided monogamy, the idea of sharing or allowing their wives to have sexual relations with other men -and/or women- shatters their pride-based confidence and self-respect. My work is about showing men the possibilities which they may not be looking at, and teaching them, through humor, to deflate rather than inflate their egos so they can actually participate with Today's Woman.

 

Why do women choose either a trophy or a good partner?

 

The Trophy, or what I call the Object, has long held universal appeal to women. The Object represents all that a woman believes she desires; he's handsome, hot in bed, commanding and aloof without being oppressive, demanding or emotionally unclear. Unfortunately, however, there are far too few Objects to go around, and though the majority of men today may FEEL they're objects -or pretend they are- the truth is they do not have those essential qualities which only those rare and gifted men possess. Thus, what is left for these men is to become a Good Partner to Today's Woman, a man she can count on, to be there for her needs and to support her in her explorations without judging or criticizing her. You can't have both, though I am certain a great many people try.

 

One review said that they came away from reading it with a new respect for women, so is that what you wanted to achieve with this book?

 

That and more, certainly. I wanted my readers to reach an understanding that continuing down the path of competing with each other and shouting our demands does not work, but cooperation and respect for each other's weaknesses and stupidities DOES. In the book, I mock both men and women; in truth, I toss all the social, sexual and historical clichés I can find into the pot and hope what comes out is the idea that we are so overly serious about our relationships and that seriousness is keeping is at arm's length, when what is needed it to learn to laugh at ourselves and each other while deflating all the pressure that screams, “We must SOLVE these problems, now!” I believe in a great many cases there is nothing to solve but much to simply understand. Really, in one sense, I'm asking men and women to learn to actually listen to each other rather than shouting at or demanding from, for it strikes me we do a poor job in this oh so critical area.

 

What is next for you?

 

 I am about to launch my long-awaited podcast with my genius wife, Mia Matters, “Get Over Yourself! The Milt n Mia Show!” which will be up at iTunes very soon, a weekly show that focuses on people taking responsibility for their lives rather than assigning blame, and I am presently working on my next book, How Low Should I Go: The Satirical Guide to How NOT to Live Your Life, which is just a ton of fun and really insightful and should be out later this year. In the meantime, I continue to speak about my work wherever I'm welcomed, and I am very pleased that I have developed a readership that I engage with often. On that note, I'd like to invite everybody to my website, HowHighShouldIJump.com, where you can look over my work, hear the audiobook sample or read a few pages, or just check in on the many things I'm involved in, too numerous to mention here.

 

 


by for www.femalefirst.co.uk
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