I'm a sucker for romantic comedies; I could watch Maid in Manhattan a million times. I get it, rom-coms are about romantic love and can provide a surge of hope in the loneliest single times. However, I can't help but think that they may be damaging to our self-confidence when we are left to figure out how not to feel bad about ourselves when our own real lives don't turn out like what is depicted on screen. Here are the top 9 things romantic comedies make us think about ourselves.
Steph Young
1) The only way the movie ends is if we've met a man.
Forget finding your perfect job, house, friends or lifestyle - it isn't complete until you are in love.
2) If we are single, working hard and career driven, we are flawed and need somebody to come soften us up.
These qualities always seem to be attributed to the lead female before a man comes along. I'm all for finding softness and love, but it doesn't mean that the qualities that have taken her quite far in life aren't good enough.
3) Women should always be the one to change.
It's bad enough that the lead female's life isn't complete until she finds a man, she is often the one who has to change her main personality traits to be fit for love.
4) Being single is a wild, messy, reckless, depressing phase.
The rom-com single girl is a reckless party animal, but all the partying is really a cover for being a depressed single woman. A realistic alternative is perhaps she's single because she likes to be wild and not have to worry about anybody else. This persona also leads us to believe that if you're in a relationship you won't be a wreck. Single isn't a personality phase. And being messy or reckless doesn't necessarily make anybody more or less fit for a relationship.
5) All women experience heartache in the same cliché, un-showered, Hagan-Dazs laced way.
I love both ice cream and binge watching Netflix, but it's not synonymous for depression. But we all experience the sad times (including heartbreak) in different ways. Some women go on a trip, some retreat to their apartments. Some go out and find new friends, cut their hair off, or go on living exactly the same as they did, only without a boyfriend.
6) If you're a total bitch, the guy will still chase after you.
Maybe I'm being a bitch because you wont leave me alone after I've already declined you nicely. Or if I'm a bitch for long enough, few men stick around for that type of ego bashing. Even when a guy has continued to pursue me, he has never turned out to be the love of my life.
7) The first kiss begets a relationship.
Much like number one, romantic comedies are notorious for ending on the first kiss. We are to assume that they are in a relationship living happily ever after. I've had a few first kisses with some crushes, but that was pretty much it. At most we went on a few dates, but so far none have ended in happily ever after.
8) The player will fall for the quirky girl and be surprisingly deep and kind.
I've dated plenty of players. Some of them are awesome people, but there's a reason they haven't settled down. Expecting to change a man and have him fall for us when he's clearly stated he isn't interested in a relationship leads to frustration and hurt feelings.
9) That in the end it's the guy who saves us. Not our friends, family or ourselves.
I've had some great relationships here and there, but I'd be nobody without my family, my friends and of course, me.
