Humanitarian Mary J Blige

11 September 2009

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Mary J Blige "relates" to other people's pain.

The 'Just Fine' singer - who has previously spoken of her unhappy childhood and battles with drug and alcohol addiction - insists her tough upbringing made her determined to succeed so she could help others.

She explained: "I've been in my bed at night and listened to women screaming for their lives because they were being physically beaten by men. Even as a child, I vowed to do anything in my power to help women and build them up. I relate to the pain of others.

What I've learned and want to pass on is that nobody is going to make you feel good about yourself and make you realise that you're a beautiful woman or man. You have to do it.

"I hear from women who say, 'I was an alcoholic, but because of you and what you did in your life, I stopped.' I hear, 'I got out of an abusive marriage when you made me realise I should divorce this man because of a special song you wrote about love gone wrong.' It's really humbling. This thing I do is big."

Mary, 38, claims she only managed to get her life on track after realising she is responsible for her own happiness and wellbeing.

She also claims people spend too long obsessing about the negative aspects of their lives, rather than moving on.

She told the Chicago Sun-Times newspaper: "Let me be real frank and hardcore - it's tough times. If you're in a low spot feeling sorry for yourself, you're not going to get out of the spot if you wallow in your pity. You have to make you feel better.

"What I've learned and want to pass on is that nobody is going to make you feel good about yourself and make you realise that you're a beautiful woman or man. You have to do it."

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