Ellen Page had "panic attacks" because she didn't relate to "gender conformity".

Ellen Page

Ellen Page

The 'Freehold' actress - who came out as gay two years ago - struggled with depression earlier in her career and struggled to take the time to properly assess how she really felt.

She said: "When you're on that track you're a racehorse, going and going with these blinders on. You don't stop to address how you feel.

"I'd get panic attacks and sense an incredible discomfort because I didn't relate to the conformity that comes with my gender [such as wearing feminine dresses on shoots].

"I was doing something I love and also wondering, 'What's wrong with me?'

"You hate yourself for feeling bad, so you pretend you're happy.

"I'd ask myself, 'Can't you just flip a switch, be a character, play the game?' "

These days, the 28-year-old star is much more comfortable and even embraces fashion now she really "gets" it.

She told Britain's ELLE magazine: "I do interviews [now] with a sense of, 'Oh, this is what it's like'.

"A photo shoot used to only represent discomfort, I felt guilty for lying.

"Fashion once meant dresses and heels, and I didn't know why I'd want to be dressed that way.

"Now I'm like, 'Oh my god, those Saint Laurent boots!' Those are not words I thought I'd ever say.

"A beautiful suit is nice. I get fashion now. In fact, I

love it."


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