Ellie Goulding's childhood was "based on survival".
Ellie Goulding
The 'Love Me Like You Do' hitmaker is aware things could have gone very differently for her because of her background and admits she sometimes feels she could "easily go back into that world".
She shared: "A lot of my early childhood was based on survival, so it seemed like I'd be taking the piss if I f***ed up. I just couldn't afford to f**k up. My best friend is in a ... well, I guess it's an asylum. He did a lot of acid. It changed his brain.
"I saw firsthand what it would have been like if I'd taken another route - and my childhood really was perfect for that route. I still feel like part of me is that girl, that I could easily go back into that world of wanting to be out of myself."
However, the 29-year-old singer is thrilled with her "pretty phenomenal" success especially when she considers the life she has come from.
She added to The Guardian newspaper: "I feel like I could change the world. But sometimes the response I get makes me think: 'Oh - they've figured it out. They've figured out that I'm nothing special.' I sometimes feel like I'm going to get found out - like I'm just a normal girl.
"I have people thinking I'm f***ing amazing and then other people thinking I'm s**t, and it's really hard to believe you're good when that keeps happening. But there are occasional moments when I feel like what I've achieved is pretty phenomenal, considering my background."
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