The Revenge Quiz Sponsored by My Super Ex Girlfriend

27 November 2006

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(Written by Psychologist Donna Dawson for DSA)

Play the quiz just for fun then fill in your details and 5 lucky winners will win a copy of this fun DVD.

If you had the kind of partner who would ‘do you wrong’, just what kind of ‘revenge personality’ do you think you would turn out to be? Take this quiz, to find out! Simply circle the answer that is the closest to how you would react in the same situation:

1) You have caught your boyfriend having a drunken snog with a girl he hardly knows at a party. The next day he apologises and shrugs it off, saying that it meant nothing because he was inebriated. You:

a) Bide your time, wait until the next party, and tell your boyfriend that you should both mingle. You then hone in on one man away from the crowd, flirt outrageously and get him into a deep conversation. You know that your boyfriend will either barge in or be angry with you later, but you plan to shrug it off as one of those "instant connection" moments.
b) From a mobile phone that cannot be traced, you send your boyfriend nasty text messages, pretending to be the girl’s boyfriend.
c) You have a screaming fit when you both get home, and refuse him sex for a month.

2) Your boyfriend has forgotten to buy you a birthday present again, saying that he has no money. He says he’ll make it up to you at Christmas in a few months time, but you’ve heard this story before, and he never delivers. You:

a) Wait for his birthday and/or Christmas to come around and, with an apologetic smile, give him the same excuse.
b) Buy yourself an expensive gift, wrap it up, and put a man’s name on the tag as the ‘giver’. Leave it under the tree for your boyfriend to see, and when he asks who it’s from, say "Just a friend at work", smiling mysteriously and giving no further details.
c) Nick his credit card and go out to buy yourself the gift you feel you deserve!

3) You find telltale traces of another girl in your boyfriend’s car: some hairs that aren’t your colour, the smell of perfume, a lipstick that isn’t yours. You haven’t seen him for awhile, but he swears blind that he hasn’t been seeing anyone else. You don’t believe him, so you:

a) Tell him that you’re going to be busy for the next few weeks (join a course, go to the gym, go out with girlfriends), as you need some space to consider the relationship and that you’ll call him when your ready. You figure that if he’s genuine about you, he’ll come back a ‘changed’ man; however, if you both drift apart, then you’ll know he wasn’t "the one" anyway.
b) You have him followed by your friends on the nights he isn’t with you. If you don’t find any evidence of his cheating, you keep quiet about it; if you do, you have a screaming showdown with him.
c) In the dead of night, you take a key and put a long scratch mark on his beloved car, snap off the aerial or smash a side mirror. You make sure you won’t get caught and, if he accuses you, you deny it.

4) Your boyfriend announces that your relationship is over - he wants you to move out of his flat, so that he can move his ‘new’ love in. You:

a) Laugh and say "That’s fine, you beat me to it - I’ve got someone else, too", but don’t elaborate. You then get your friends to help you move out quickly, without telling him where you’re going, taking with you any ‘joint gifts’ and a few of his favourite CDS, along with your own stuff. You will also ‘stiff him’ for any joint bills.
b) When he is out, you lift up the carpets and pour some milk under them, crushing in a few eggs for good measure. You then sew some prawns into the pelmets and linings of his curtains. After you leave, the smells will linger forever, and he’ll never be able to find out what’s causing it. He’ll probably have to move out.
c) While he is out, go into his wardrobe and cut off one arm from each suit jacket and cotton shirt, and one leg from each pair of trousers. Tear any silk shirts into shreds with your teeth, and break every one of his precious CDs before leaving.

5) You’ve had an affair with a married co-worker. He claims that his wife doesn’t understand him, that they sleep in separate beds, and that he will eventually leave her for you. You realise that it’s never going to happen, and that you’ve been ‘used’. You:

a) Dump him before he dumps you, and warn other single women in the office about him. And, if you like your work, don’t feel pressurised into changing jobs!
b) Find a way to sabotage his work, without him knowing who it is.
c) Call his wife, and let her know what he’s been up to.

6) Your boyfriend announces that he has been seeing your best friend behind your back (who lives a few doors away from you), and that they are going on holiday to Spain together. When they return, he is moving in with her. You:

a) Wait until the day of their return, and then put a huge banner for all to see across the top half of your house, saying "Welcome back, my ex-boyfriend (name) and ex-best friend (name), from your holiday in Spain, from the trusting mug that you lied to". Major public embarrassment.
b) Gather up his vintage wine collection and, in the early hours of the morning, leave a bottle on every doorstep in the neighbourhood, to be taken in with the milk.
c) Take his car (for which you still have a spare key), and ram it into the back of hers. Then go into her front garden and dig up all her plants and cut off all the flower heads. Make sure there are no witnesses.

7) You’ve met a man through a mutual friend that you quite fancy. He exclaims that you are the ‘only one’ for him, and that he wants you to meet his mother over dinner. However, someone tips you off that he’s a ‘player’, and that he’s stringing three women along at the same time. You:

a) Get in touch with the other two women, and give them the time and place of the dinner. All three of you show up a few minutes apart, each of you protesting that you thought it was YOU who had the dinner date that night. Make sure that mama hears all the protestations in the hallway!
b) Call the other two women and, saying that you must remain anonymous, go on to describe how Romeo has given you a virulent sexually-transmitted disease.
c) Follow him to a restaurant on one of his other dates, and plonk yourself down at the table with them. Say in a sobbing voice loud enough for all to hear that you don’t see how he could be seeing someone else, especially now that you’re ‘pregnant’.

Scoring Key For Your "Revenge Style"

Mostly A’S

: THE SHREWD OPERATOR: You know that the best revenge is ‘psychological’, causing a level of mental discomfit or embarrassment in the criminal that is equal to the crime. You have a strong sense of justice, and you know that what is ‘good for the goose’, is also ‘good for the gander’. However, in certain cases, you are prepared to ‘walk’, as the best revenge in your mind is a combination of indifference and getting on with your life in a better way. You have too much self-confidence to be taken over by feelings of jealousy or revenge for long. It’s his loss! Heather Locklear’s cool public reaction to Denise Richardson hooking up with her ex-husband, Ritchie Samborra, is a perfect example of this style. She simply found herself a better boyfriend!

Mostly B’S:

THE SNEAKY SABOTEUR: You want your revenge, but you don’t want to get caught, so you do something ‘indirect’ that can’t be traced to you. Or you do something at a time and place where he can’t get at you. It’s a bit cowardly, and he’ll probably still suspect you, but at least you won’t get caught in the act! The problem is that when you feel double-crossed, you tend to sit on your anger, which finds its vent in ‘nasty’ acts of vengeance. A little more upfront communication would help you not to hit so far below the belt! Kevin Federline, about to be divorced by Britney Spears, is a good example of this style of revenge, as he recently released a video of their sex life into the public spotlight.

Mostly C’S:

THE ANGRY PSYCHO: Wow, lady, "Hell Hath No Fury"…!! Unfortunately, you have very low self-confidence, which is why you always take it sooo personally when a man does the ‘dirty’. You have anger management issues, too, so that when you’re hurt, you tend to strike out. Getting ‘physical’ helps you to release all that pent-up fury, but you’ve got to learn to cool it, or you could end up in court or even jail. Remember that when you let feelings of revenge take you over, that YOU are out-of-control, and it lowers you to the pathetic status of a desperate victim. Remind yourself that you are ‘bigger’ than that. After all, NO man is worth this over-heated reaction!

Jenny, as "G-Girl", in the film "My Super Ex-girlfriend", is the perfect example of this ‘loser’ style of revenge-taking, as she’s never learnt to take "No" for an answer! The irony is that the worse her revenge gets, the less chance she has of ever getting Matt back!

My Super Ex Girlfriend is released to buy and rent on DVD on 4th December from Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment

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Closing Date: 2006-12-20

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