Hal Cruttenden
Hal Cruttenden is one of the fastest rising stars in the comedy industry. He's currently on tour and preparing for some massive television appearances as well as a DVD release.
We got the chance to chat to Hal about all of this, and who he enjoys watching when it comes to stand-up.
How was it that you got into the world of comedy?
It was through a friend. I was never one of these people that was ten years old and went 'I'm going to be funny for the rest of my life, I'm hilarious, I'm this big comedian!'. I did think I was funny - I did always think I made my mum laugh and my family and things, I was always a joker - but it was when I was mid-20s and I was working as an actor. Or not working as an actor because when I wasn't acting I was working at the BBC writing traffic reports, and someone I worked with was in a comedy workshop - a guy called David - and there was a group of comics who used to hang out together and there was a woman called Jill Edwards who now runs comedy courses, and they were all doing this comedy workshop, and he was doing it and I went 'I'd really like to do that', and so I ended up going along to that and I was the only one of that lot really who kept going (laughs), so yes it was a bit strange. I started on something but then everybody else gave up!
They used to drag me to my first gigs - I feel really guilty about it now because all the others were the ones going 'You've gotta go out and do these gigs' and they all got me into it, and then they all for different reasons stopped doing it and then I, from the first time I did a comedy gig I did think 'I'm gonna do this, this is something here'. I was slightly lost I think. I was feeling the world of acting - it wasn't very satisfying - so I thought 'I can truly create everything here'. I'd always been neurotic about being a writer, but somehow comedy - if you can write jokes you can write, so I think that was what happened really. It was really from doing that. Other people gave me the confidence, because I've always been a natural neurotic, so I needed somebody else to push me basically! (laughs)
How was the process of actually breaking into the industry?
It took me, I'd say, probably two years, and this is quicker than most apparently, to be able to be making any sort of reasonable money that I could live off. It's a very, very long process. I think it's longer now.
At the time there was an explosion of comedy - people think there's an explosion on television now, there is sort of - that explosion of comedy in the late 90s when I was starting was in comedy clubs. There were just loads of places you could phone up and go along to next week and go and try material. It's quite geeky comedy - as soon as you get into it you get obsessed by it - I still am slightly.
It's still one of the biggest dangers to my marriage! The fact I'm coming home and going 'Is this funny is that funny!?' - when you're writing material or creating material it's like you've just found this new game. When you're new to comedy it's absolutely addictive. You live it, you breathe it. I was very lucky because I'd just split up from my girlfriend when I started doing comedy, so I could be completely focused on it, and it'd been quite an amicable split but I remember her being quite upset that I wasn't really that upset about us splitting up, because it was like I'd found this drug! It was like I was a heroin addict - I had got into this world and everything was like comedy, and that's what it has to be, to get ahead and to start off in comedy you have to be so enthusiastic, because you are playing some really tough rooms. There's a lot of comedy out there but you're playing just 10 people in the back of a pub, you're playing impossible gigs, you're playing to rooms that shouldn't really have comedy on. You get to know pub toilets very well! Those are the places that you tend to be panicking and having to spend your time sitting on the loo five minutes before you're going on in absolute terror! (laughs) I would say looking back it's really, really hard but incredibly rewarding because obviously when you're starting something you're at your most enthusiastic whereas now I'm a bitter old pro! (laughs)
How would you describe your act?
The show I'm doing is called 'Tough Luvvie', and that's almost the best description of it.
'TOugh Luvvie' - I'm a little bit of a softie, I'm a bit fluffy, I'm a bit actor-ey, I'm a bit camp, but I also can be quite hard, and quite tough, and unpleasant! (laughs) So the act is like that.
The act is a lot about me, quite a lot of social comment at the moment. Quite a bit of politics but in a very, very jolly, light-hearted, ill-informed, friendly way. (laughs) I'm not a political comic in terms of really ripping things apart, I'm much more about taking the mick out of the way people view politics, and the way people talk about it. My biggest targets are society rather than politicians specifically... I do have a go at the Russians... or Putin... anyway! (laughs)
You mentioned your tour - how have you found the first few dates?
Really lovely. Really enjoyable. I did do a little tour a couple of years ago - a couple of smaller tours - they're bigger audiences and it's a very fun experience. I really enjoy it, because most of the stand-up's career in the clubs are playing to people who don't know you. The joy of playing to people who've come just to see you is fantastic. You can really get to know them, you can really get into your stuff and it just makes it more relaxing.
With such a heavy schedule, how do you balance your personal and working life?
I don't! My personal life's a complete disaster!
My wife's incredibly understanding. I am so busy at the moment because I'm writing a radio sitcom, I've had TV appearances, I've got a lot of meetings and development things going on, and I'm trying to do the tour, and my mum's not very well, so my wife today is spending the day with my mum in hospital while I have a tour gig I'm doing (laughs). You have to have a partner who is so incredibly nice it's almost unreal.
I see my kids as often as I can (laughs). I don't see my kids often for three or four days and I'm living in the same house, so I'm not even away! I'm getting back late because I'm touring, I'm leaving early because I'm off somewhere to do a tour gig, or I've got a meeting and then a tour gig, and it's very, very tough. I've earmarked August as a massive holiday to say thankyou to everybody. I've also prepared that speech for when I win a massive award and I start crying, and mention my wife and children (laughs). That's what I'm aiming for! I need to make the massive award so I can stand there and cry and go 'you don't quite realise!' - you know at the Oscars and stuff when people thank their families? Families really - it's not easy being married to somebody in any performance industry - we're up and down, we work very hard and we're quite difficult people. (laughs) So, talk to me in a year and see if I'm still married! (laughs)
In the industry, which other comedians do you like to watch?
Not many because I get very jealous! (laughs) I do like people who are really silly. I like people who are very different to me, because comics who are like me I tend to go 'I wish I'd thought of that joke! That would've suited me!' I love the people who do stuff that I could never do - like Milton Jones - the word play, Tim Vine, a comic called Gary Delaney. I really love those people.
Eddie Izzard is sort of the person who inspired me to get into it. I love his lack of apologising for himself. He's just 'I am this person, you can just deal with it'. I think that's what the great comics have, they have a fearlessness about being exactly who they are.
People are rude about Michael McIntyre - I think he's brilliant - because he's unapologetically completely middle-class posh, and a bit silly. He's got the things - I get compared to Michael McIntyre - but I think I'm far more apologetic and guilt-ridden about being a middle-class t**t really (laughs), and I really admire him for it, I think he's very very good.
Another great stand-up who's almost known more for doing sketches and sitcoms and panel shows is Lee Mack. When he was on the circuit was absolutely fantastic. So of the present batch, those are sort-of my favourites.
When you hit the stage when you're on tour, what kind of feeling is that?
It is strange, you go slightly into another world. You do get nervous but it is very wealthy. That applause when you go on - it relaxes you - and if anybody isn't applauding, which sometimes they don't, sometimes one person is sitting there and you go 'you bastard!' at the start of your show. I tend to hammer them going 'it's just a nice way to welcome me, and there's you sitting there', and there's a guy sitting there going 'oh prove it, be funny!', but the beginning I do enjoy because it's sort of a getting to know you a bit with the audience at first, for five or ten minutes. I find that whatever stage I'm in before I go on stage I am 'how's it gonna be, is it gonna go well?', but it does disappate as you walk on that stage. Your body switches to a different sort of mode. Maybe that comes from experience because I did used to walk on when I first started comedy so frightened, I had to put the hand of my mic against my chest because my hand shook so much with fear, so it was very scary. I can't even imagine what it's like to be like that because you tend to have a mode to flip into as a comic. One of the things you learn is look relaxed, even when you're not. Walk out there and find something silly to take your mind off, or say something to relax everyone. It is a moment, if I'm ill or whatever, I do enjoy that moment because it is stepping into another world - a performance mode - you feel very alive. It's a very alive moment when you do performance because you absolutely have to be on it. All your senses are alert - you're completely awake really.
Aside from the tour do you have any other projects you can share some details about?
I have a radio 4 sitcom which will be broadcast around April next year, called 'Hal', which is kind of based on my home life but not really! It's about a much bigger failure version of me! It's someone like me who doesn't have a job, doesn't do anything, is sort of in a state about it. It's written with Dominic Holland - very good comedian - and so we're writing that for Radio 4.
I'm on BBC Celebrity Mastermind over Christmas! (laughs)
I'm on something else that I'm not sure I'm allowed to reveal yet, but I'm on something big on TV!
Then next year is gonna be developing a couple of sitcom and TV ideas, so it's all gonna be very busy.
Oh and also I'm doing (laughs) I should really mention this! I'm doing panto over Christmas! The tour takes a little break in December while Hal does panto in Woking! Which is a brand new experience for me, thought it would be a laugh and now I'm quite frightened! I'm starring in Cinderella with Justin Fletcher who is Mr Tumble from Cbeebies, so he sells it out, all the kids will go crazy for him! Zoe Salmon from Blue Peter and I am playing a character I've never heard of before - this is how much I don't know panto - Dandini, who is assistant to Prince Charming and has become a bit of a bigger comedy role in the past few years. Louie Spence played it - he's a very camp guy.
And you have a DVD coming out?
DVD! That won't be recorded until next year. That'll be November 2014. We were thinking of making it this year and then went out on the big tour, so this tour keeps on being booked, it's through to June at the moment I think and it should rollover into filming a DVD for next Christmas.
Hal Cruttenden's Tough Luvvie tour is on now until 6 June 2014. For more information on dates, venues and to book tickets, please go to www.halcruttenden.com