Is Christmas Still A Number One Subject?

26 December 2009

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"It's Chhhriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiistmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!" Noddy Holder of glam rockers Slade has been reminding us, from almost every radio in the land, since December 1. In fact he's been soundtracking every festive period with his rather forceful voice since 1973 when his band's 'Merry Christmas Everybody' topped the UK charts.

The Christmas Number One single is a coveted thing in the UK, seen as special somehow, a hit that sums up the year and sees most families force even grandmothers to wake up and pay attention during Christmas dinner as it is performed on a festive edition of TV programme 'Top Of The Pops'.

This year the race to the festive number one was a hotly contested topic, with smug-faced reality TV mogul Simon Cowell looking for a fifth Christmas hit in a row with the winner of reality show 'The X Factor' Joe McElderry, and his schmaltzy version of Miley Cyrus' song 'The Climb'.

Simon told everyone how he felt he was doing the public "a favour" by claiming the number one spot for his act year after year.

He said: "I think we all have this belief that the Christmas number one was just amazing songs, but actually when you look at them over recent years it was Bob The Builder, Mr Blobby, there's a tradition of quite horrible songs. I think I've done everyone a favour."

It's true that Christmas usually means novelty hits, ballads and, increasingly, artists rehashing the Christmas hits of days gone by.

It was also the time of year guaranteed for Cliff Richard to rear his somehow still pristine head and launch another mild, largely inoffensive, traditionally themed Christian hit. It's a good thing grandmas never learned how to download, or he'd still be there, crooning his way into the top ten.

This year however, following Joe's journey from humble boy-next-door drama student to superstar, it was very much a foregone conclusion he would follow in the footsteps of Alexandra Burke, Leona Lewis, Leon Jackson and Shayne Warde with a number one.

Most other artists gave up, with the looming threat of 'The X Factor', rather than have a chart failure, nobody seemed keen on releasing anything new.

Girl group Sugababes have recorded a version of Christmas classic 'Santa Baby' but aren't releasing it.

The group's Heidi Range said: "We are not releasing it as a single, we are giving it out to radio stations. It's just for people to listen to over Christmas. 'The X Factor' winner will be number one anyway."

This left Joe's unlikely opponents for the number one spot as heavy metal band Rage Against The Machine. Turning the race into a political statement, a facebook campaign was set up to get their 1992 track 'Killing In The Name Of' - which climaxes with the repeated line: "F**k you I won't do what you tell me."

What a way to say Merry Christmas!

Explaining the campaign, founder Jon Morter wrote: "'Fed up of Simon Cowell's latest karaoke act being Christmas No 1? Me too ... So who's up for a mass-purchase of the track 'Killing In The Name' as a protest to the X Factor monotony?"

It seemed unlikely, but the campaign caught on fast, and although last Monday (14.12.09) Joe's toothy grin nestled itself at the top of the download charts, Rage proved to be a surprisingly strong contender. Two days later the tables had started to turned and Simon was taking the campaign personally, branding the campaign "cynical" and says it is targeted at him, but faced "ruining the party" for winner Joe.

The guitarist from US rockers Rage Against the Machine, Tom Morello, saw it in different terms however, that his band's single was a valid swipe at the reality show dynasty.

He said: "The one thing about the 'X Factor' show, much like our own 'American Idol', is if you're a viewer of the show you get to vote for one contestant or the other, but you don't really get to vote against the show itself until now."

And vote against the show the people did, with 'X Factor's crown toppling and Joe denied the top spot last night (20.12.09) in a shock defeat. The heavy metal group's single had sold over 500,000 copies, a clear 50,000 more than Joe.

He was dignified in his defeat however, writing: "This time last year I never thought for one minute that I'd win The X Factor never mind about having a debut single out, so I'm just delighted to be in the charts."

Zack de la Rocha, lead singer of Rage, said that the band were "ecstatic" at their win, and promised the band will play a free show for fans as a thank you, as well as donating a large portion of the money made by the single will go to homeless charity Shelter.

He said: "It says more about the spontaneous action taken by young people throughout the UK to topple this very sterile pop monopoly, and less about the song and the band."

And so the decade ends with an expletive-laden, 17-year-old heavy metal track, a bold statement, but hardly in the festive spirit. In fact the noughties appear to have missed out - if we look back over the golden decades of yore, usually there is at least one vintage year where two festive tracks go head to head.

For example, 2003's chart race between R.E.M.-a-like moaner Gary Jules with his piano-led cover of Tears For Fears' 'Mad World' and rockers The Darkness with their festive 'Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End) is hardly comparable to that faithful winter of 1973 when not only Slade took on the charts, but Christmas classic 'I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday' by Wizzard was also released, with a huge chart battle ensuing. Wizzard fought hard but ultimately lost out at the last minute.

It's Chhhriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiistmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!

Another memorable year in recent Christmas number one history was 1984, when landmark charity single 'Do They Know It's Christmas Time?' - penned by Midgre Ure and charity man Bob Geldof and featuring an all-star cast - was released and topped the Christmas charts. But what was at number two? 'Last Christmas' by Wham! - another solid gold Christmas classic, and another great pop Christmas.

Then in the 90s we had the tearjerking tribute to Freddie Mercury that was Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' taking the top spot in 1991 - setting a world record for the first time a song has returned to the top of the charts twice in separate years. There was also the sheer outrage of Michael Jackson's messianic-posturing of 'Earth Song' taking the '95 top spot, shortly before the Spice Girls won a triple - giving us a glimpse of what was to come.

This decade things haven't been quite so vintage. During the last ten years, the only surprising Christmas number one was 2003's sad rendition of 'Mad World' by daft flat cap wearing miseryguts Gary Jules.

A good thing happened in 2002 though, when the smile of certainty was wiped from the face of reality TV judge Pete Waterman when One True Voice, the Boyband he formed on 'Popstars: The Rivals' lost out to rival group Girls Aloud in the race for Christmas number one. Sexy, confident, intelligent and modern, the group went on to become the biggest girl band of the decade.

Otherwise, the last ten years have been fairly sparse with Bob The Builder taking the top spot, a re-hash of the original Band Aid track and four years of 'X Factor' winners.

In fact it appears the era of the Christmas hit has passed us by, as despite it being the season to be jolly, nobody seems to want to sing about it anymore, and it looks like we'll have to make do with Noddy and co for a few more years to come.

Full list of UK Christmas number ones:

(1) 1952 Al Martino 'Here In My Heart'

(2) 1953 Frankie Laine 'Answer Me'

(3) 1954 Winifred Atwell 'Let's Have Another Party'

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