Russell Brand seriously considered turning back to drugs after receiving some shocking news from a female acquaintance.
The British funnyman has been clean and sober for more than a decade after spending years battling substance abuse, but admits he still craves heroin and crack cocaine in times of trouble.
In a blog posted online on Tuesday (05Mar13), Brand reveals he came close to crumbling after he received some shocking news from an unnamed woman.
He writes, "The last time I thought about taking heroin was yesterday. I had received 'an inconvenient truth' from a beautiful woman... She told me she was pregnant and it wasn't mine. I had to take immediate action.
"I put Morrissey on in my car as an external conduit for the surging melancholy and as I wound my way through the neurotic Hollywood hills the narrow lanes".
Brand admits he considered buying some drugs from a known dealer, but was saved by a telephone call to a contact who offers him addiction support.
He adds, "I think of places I could score (buy drugs). Off Santa Monica (in California) there's a homeless man who I know uses gear. I could find him, buy him a bag if he takes me to score. I'd leave him on the corner, a couple of rocks, a couple of $20 bags pressed into my sweaty palm... I am reaching for my phone. "I call someone not a doctor or a sage not a mystic or a physician, just a bloke like me, another alcoholic, who I know knows how I feel.
The phone rings and I half hope he'll just let it ring out.
It's 4am in London.
He's asleep, he can't hear the phone, he won't pick up.
I indicate left, heading to Santa Monica.
The ringing stops, then the dry mouthed nocturnal mumble 'Hello.
You alright mate?' He picks up.
And for another day, thank God, I don't have to".