Being a parent you want the best for your child and for many, saying no can be difficult.

Parenting on Female First

Parenting on Female First

Harriet Dean, Childcare Expert at Tinies shares her advice on how you can turn ‘NO’ into a positive and why it’s important to say ‘NO’ for later life.

“Saying ‘no’ to your child almost inevitably brings some sort of unwelcome reaction:  arguing, begging, tears, and tantrums to name a few.  As a parent, you’re likely to feel frustrated at the least, and experience some feelings of guilt, or quite possibly even feel angry towards your child. 

"That’s not to mention your own embarrassment if you happen to be in a public place when your little one kicks off!

“Sometimes, just giving in to your child might feel like an easier option than facing the fallout of putting your foot down, but by confidently sticking to your guns, you will feel in control and your child will ultimately feel more secure. It’s a fact of life that we don’t always get what we want, so accepting boundaries is a positive skill learned in preparation for adult life.  As children grow up, it’s also important for them to have experienced boundaries themselves, as this will help them to understand that they too can say no in certain situations.  

“Most healthy babies will understand the word no by around 9 to 12 months, although they won’t necessarily react to it until they are nearer 18 months.  Avoid having to say no all the time at this very young age by baby proofing their environment as much as you can.  Be creative by adapting your tone of voice and maybe substituting ‘no’ for another word.  For instance if your toddler is just about to pick up the scissors, you could say ‘sharp’ in a stern voice to attract their attention, or say ‘hot’ if they are too close to the oven.  This way, you not only keep your child safe but increase their vocabulary too.

“As children get older, pick your battles carefully.  An obvious example would be saying no in order to protect your child from harm and keep him safe; other examples (more personal to you), might be around boundaries for bedtimes, or cut off points for TV viewing.  Be consistent, keep it simple and don’t use threats that you’re unlikely to carry out.  Don’t forget to readily praise a child for positive behaviour as this will increase their self-esteem and overall confidence.”

Harriet Dean, Childcare Consultant, Tinies

Harriet worked as a special needs nanny before completing her Registered Nurse training. Her professional background led her to work in Europe and the US, returning to take up a position as Practise Nurse for a busy NHS surgery in London.  Harriet is well known within P&G where she was involved in setting up their highly successful Childcare Advisory Service in 1995.  She has delivered training sessions and seminars that cover all aspects of the childcare arena and continues to support individual P&G families who are looking for expert advice when faced with the challenge of finding suitable childcare.

For more information, visit: www.tinies.com


by for www.femalefirst.co.uk