As lifelong buddies you will go through a lot together, including men. Bad men, dependent relationships, possessive guys, too nice for their own good fellas- but there is a distinct pattern when they first start dating that every friend has to go through before things go back to normality.
They go everywhere together
You used to be able to see you friend any time you wanted- now every time you go out he is in tow, so you can’t talk like you used to because you don’t know him well enough to start baring all your deepest secrets.
Every post on Facebook is about them
‘My new guy is gorgeous’, ‘I love the flowers my new guy just bought me’, ‘I don’t know what I would do without my new man now’, ‘I am seeing my new guy tonight’…… ok we get it you have a boyfriend- the whole world knows you are capable of finding love- so happy for you.
Every conversation you have includes them (even if they weren’t there)
They feel the need to name them too- instead of ‘him’ or ‘he’, they have to say their name, like it’s a contest for how many times they can slip it into conversation. If he was not present they tell you how he reacted to the story-arg!
They ask you when you are getting a boyfriend
They think that just because they have one that its time you do too- yes I know it's time, it's not like i'm not trying but you putting pressure on me so we can double date isn't helping!
When they are together they are like animals
You sit next to them in the cinema and they kiss all the way through the movie, you go to a party and all they do is sit on the corner for the rest of the night, talk to each other and simulate foreplay. You scream ‘get a room’ and they think it warrants doing it some more to justify the point.
They get a sickly grin whenever you enquire about him
The sheer mention of their name makes her look like shes had a hit of a really strong drug- she has realised that you are bored of her brining him up so when you do she takes advantage of the opportunity.
She talks about nothing else
I liked our old conversations where we could vary what we chatted about. Now it’s one thing only- I know his shoe size, his favourite dinner and his girth- great- now my life is complete!
All photos now contain him
Her Facebook used to be a plethora of pics of nights out- funny looking food, little anecdotes to brighten up your day and now it’s all couple pics. Her profile pic is of them both and just in case you missed them being added onto her page, she reposts them with a heart next to it or a comment about how loved up they are- grab me a bucket!
You can’t make a plan
You ask her if she can go shopping with you and she has to check with him- since when did he become ruler of the universe? Just give me an answer- he can fit in with your plans for a change! She asks and he says ‘yes’- because at this stage he is doing everything he can to keep her sweet- he even gives her the money to buy something nice- utterly pointless.
You have to pick up the pieces
When they have their first argument you have to drop everything and console her. Suddenly she has time for you and you are her first port of call again- until he calls, makes up and then you fade into insignificance again.
But you do it and put up with it all because you love her and when you get a man- she has to endure exactly the same fate!