SodaStream UK have found the top 20 reasons why couples feel that their relationship doesn’t have that je ne sais quoi anymore. So on National Static Electricity Day we take a look at where we might be going wrong.
No sex
TOP 20 REASONS FOR LOSING THE ‘SPARK’
Opting for sleep over sex- Work days are long and hard, so when you finally drop down into bed, sex so often is the last thing on your mind. At weekends, you are just trying to catch up on your lost sleep from the week.
You stop kissing each other goodbye- Easy to do as it takes a matter of seconds and often you are running out of the door to work on a morning after too many snoozes on your alarm clock.
Lack of ‘date nights’- Every night becomes like the other- a stream of TV dinners and early nights. Setting aside one night where sex and fun is to be had sounds like too much hard work at the beginning of the week to even think about.
You don’t cuddle up on the sofa- You keep your own space and sit at opposite ends watching TV or messing on your phone.
You forget to say ‘I love you’- You might think it’s a given that you love your partner and your partner loves you back and sometimes you forget to verbalise it.
You go to bed at different times- You go up an hour earlier, so you leave him playing on his Xbox as you make your way upstairs. By the time he gets in bed you are fast asleep.
Assuming one of you will do all the chores- A lot of people, admit it or not, still expect their partner do do certain things around the house- this expectation of couples with no thanks after it getting done can make spark die quickly.
Spend the evening sitting in different rooms- He plays his game while you watch your favourite box set- before you know it you are both like roommates paying for the space.
Not letting each other know about plans that have been made- You expect him to be free and vice versa so arrange a night out without consulting each other. Before you know it, one of you is having to sacrifice plans and resenting the other for going somewhere they don’t really want to.
Not excited at the prospect of one-on-one time- He would rather go out with his mates than spend a night in with you- what does that tell you? You try to think of something new and exciting to do together and neither of you can, so you sit and mope that you are hopeless at being spontaneous!
You stop celebrating anniversaries- A card on Valentines’ Day without a gift, turns to not bothering with the day you met/ the day you got engaged, the day you got married- soon every day is like the other and no effort is ever made.
You don’t talk about your day- When you ask how their day has been at work and their generic reply is ‘oh, you know’ or ‘the usual pile of crap’ and the conversation is dead!
You forget important dates- Forgetting birthdays is unthinkable in the beginning but as the years go on it becomes commonplace to blame your age on your lack of attention paid to important dates.
Forget to say thank-you- Neither of you appreciate what each other does in the house, for the family or for each other and suddenly simple manners go out of the window.
Slacking on chores or doing half jobs- You spend hours cleaning and he whizzes the hoover around, he spends ages cooking you tea and you don’t want it because you have started a new diet.
Saying ‘I love you’ out of habit rather than actually meaning- The ‘I love you’ overdose starts because there is space to think in the conversation and you don’t know what else to say so you use those faithful three words.
Is on their phone while having a conversation with you- He is texting while you are trying to tell him about your day, you are checking Facebook while he is trying to fill you in about his new promotion. Sound familiar?
The little phone calls at work stop- The texting, the ‘I love yous’ and the little reminders throughout the day that you have a life and a love at home, fade into the distance.
No little notes or silly texts- Your cards at special occasions (if you do get one) say ‘to’ and ‘love from’ at the beginning and the end, with no poem, or little note to elaborate on the point.
Less ‘in-jokes’- You used to be able to make each other laugh with just a look, now- the jokes are boring and predictable and you want to crawl under the table at the sheer sniff of one!
You dress down more when you are with each other- You have seen each other naked a thousand times, you have looked your best and he didn’t notice until you asked him. So you have stopped shaving, or getting your routes done and his morning kiss has been replaced with a massive fart.
Eat at different times in the evening- You come in an hour after him and he has already eaten his tea- you then eat it on your own like Bridget Jones.
In conclusion, the spark has been well and truly put out.
How do I create a spark between us?
Should I get back with my ex or be without the spark?