Bad First date? Say anything you shouldn't?
Dating expert Kezia Noble (http://www.kezia-noble.com/) has put together a list of eight things you should never say to a man from a first date to if you have been together for a while- avoid them at all costs!
“My boyfriend used to..”
He doesn't want to hear anything about your boyfriend. Even if you’re making a negative comment about your ex, it will still annoy him because he will (rightly or wrongly) think he’s still on your mind.
Men can’t tolerate the idea of their girlfriends being with another man, so avoid this topic like the plague!
“I want you to open up to me”
Nothing wrong with trying to initiate a more emotionally open dialogue with boyfriend, but this line will make him feel like he’s being cornered, and as a result he will laugh it off or close up. You can get him to ‘open up’ more effectively, by making it feel like it was his choice to and not yours. Find a point in the conversation where he’s completely relaxed, and then ask him some thoughtful questions that will ease him into opening up.
“Why were you looking at that woman?”
Men look at other women. They can’t help it! If they are being obvious about it, then of course this can feel very disrespectful, but the best way to handle it is to make a joke about it such as: “Wow, she had a great pair of legs…even I was drooling at them” This will make you seem a lot more self-confident and jealous free, but at the same time it will let him know that you are aware of what he’s doing and that maybe next time you will not be so playful about it. Call it a friendly warning!
“My friend (s) say that you ..”
Men can’t stand women who are at the mercy of their friends judgments and criticisms. This makes them feel powerless and like they're being put on trial without a fair hearing. Of course you should often listen and trust certain opinions of your close friends, but when you want to convey these opinions to him, make sure it make it seem that they are coming from you and all your own personal judgements.
“I don’t mind.. you choose”
Most men don’t like being ordered about or told where they should precisely take a woman for a date, however, they are attracted to women who have a clear idea of what they like and want, but at the same time are open to surprises and new experiences. So next time he asks you what you want to do, tell him some ideas you have, but then finish it off with “However, I’m interested to see how you’d like to spend time with me”
“You should wear this..”
Most men had a mother telling them how to dress, how to walk, how to sit and how to eat their dinner at the table, and although they can accept this level of criticism from their wives, they won’t take kindly to it coming from a woman they haven't fallen in love with yet! Suggestions on what would look ‘great’ on him work far better than harsh critical tactic.
“You never listen to me”
Men dread these 5 words! As soon as they hear them, they go into ‘defensive’ mode and as a result the civilized dialogue you had envisioned becomes a full blown argument where NO ONE is listening. There’s no point bringing it up when he is in an unreceptive mood, or when you feel emotionally exhausted. Bring up the problem, when you are relaxed and in control, and when he’s free from distractions.
“I’m looking for a serious relationship”
This is relationship carnage! These kinds of statements put way too much pressure on men. Always let the guy feel that you want to be with him because you like spending time with him and because you have feelings for him, and that he’s not just someone who happens to fit the part of the ‘serious relationship’ that you crave for. If you feel he’s not interested in taking the next step, then back off and start investing less, this will make him feel that he is losing you and will force him to take a long hard look at where he wants the relationship to go without you having to give him any sort of ultimatum.
tagged in dating First Date boyfriend