More and more couples are trying anal sex as part of their bedroom play, so have devised some valuable tips to help you get started! 


Whatever goes in the anus shouldn't be touching anything else, whether it’s fingers, a penis or toys being put inside you- don’t let them stray. He should never take his penis out of your anus and put it into your vagina. This can lead to serious infections- you are both at a higher risk of cystitis and a burning sensation when you pee is never a good feeling!  After any kind of anal play, you should immediately change condoms and wash the relevant body parts thoroughly.


Of course, STDs are also a major concern with anal sex if you are not having it with your long term partner who has been tested and you are certain is free of them. AIDS, herpes, genital warts, syphilis, and gonorrhoea can all be transmitted through anal sex. You shouldn't be having anal sex without a condom; it's not worth the risk to either partner. 

Lubrication, Lubrication, Lubrication

One of the most important things to remember when thinking about anal sex is that, unlike the vagina, the anus isn't self-lubricating: you have got bring your own grease. The more lube you use, the better and keep applying as the anus soaks it up quicker than the vagina; try the Tracey Cox Supersex Anal Lubricant 100ml. It will make the initial penetration much easier and less painful for you. It will also make the whole experience, for both of you, much more pleasant, we just can't emphasize this point enough

All kinds of lube are used for anal sex; spit, Vaseline and high-tech silicone-based lubes. We'd strongly recommend spending a little money to get a high quality water-based lubricant; remember, an oil-based lubricant like Vaseline will degrade the latex in a condom, destroying its usefulness and safety against infections. Note, though a condom may be "lubricated", they typically don't offer as much lube as we'd recommend for anal sex

There are some specialty lubes designed for anal sex that include an anaesthetic to numb the woman's sensation and make anal sex less painful. We'd advice against these products. The simple fact is; pain is a way of your body telling you that something's wrong. If you're in pain during anal sex, you need to focus on solving the problem, not anesthetizing yourself so it's easier to endure.

Sex Toys

A penis is awfully big to be the first thing you stick up your butt. Better to start with something smaller and work your way up. Fingers are an excellent starting point. Use one finger, then two, to allow yourself to become accustomed to the feeling. Get him to do this while performing oral sex on you for an extra thrill. Be sure his fingernails are trimmed, don’t forget the lube, and he might even want to wear latex gloves. Try the Lovehoney BASICS Slimline Butt Buddy Butt Plug.

As get used to his fingers in that end, you might gravitate towards a butt plug or a small dildo. Both are available in all shapes and sizes. Go shopping together to get one you think you can handle. Remember not to put the dildo into the vagina after putting it into the anus. The safest way is to put a condom on the dildo before using it, and to wash it thoroughly immediately after.

Be the first

If you are talking about this with your partner or thinking about asking them to start playing with your back passage- then try it out on yourself first.

Just like telling your partner how to get you off when he touches your clitoris, or your vagina, if you can let him know how you like to be fingered there, then you are on a faster track to pleasure.  

Of course, anal play on yourself is a great way to learn how anal sex feels and to learn how to make it more comfortable when your partner finally enters you. You might also be surprised just how much you like it...

Create space

Although it’s not the nicest of things to talk about - make sure that you have a full bowel movement before anal. If you don’t- he will be ‘packing fudge’ or worse it might be pushed out if you stools are a bit loose. Anal sex might be something you need to plan in around this- or your first time might be your last if the smell of sex is replaced by the smell of faeces. Straining to defecate is not healthy. A high fibre diet may help things along and is good for your health too.

Of course, if you really want to clean things out in a hurry, you can purchase an enema from any drug store. There's some controversy about this; some people feel having an enema first can actually increase the irritation during anal sex. If you're going to go down the enema route, we'd recommend doing it several hours before you plan to have anal sex, rather than right before the act. Try Lovehoney BASICS Anal Douche.

  1. by Bobby 17th Jul 2008 05:08

    I tried putting Sharpie's in mine first before my bf and I tried it and I'm only 19. We moved from Sharpie's to putting tops of bottles (plastics). Its gettin better now. I am excited to try sticks!

  2. by faye 17th Sep 2008 19:33

    me and my husband took a few years to try anal as i was nervouse about it, the first time was to say the least unsuccessfull but after relaxing with a few glasses of wine and some good ... Read More

  3. by David 03rd Mar 2009 09:10

    thank you this site really opened a lot of doors for me and my partner.i haven't tried yet but i defiantly will as soon as my next encounter.once again thank you.

  4. by purplepeopleeater 11th Aug 2009 19:33

    Me and my boyfriend really like anal sex. we never used lube but in recent times ive been in alot of pain so we've been looking for new and better ways of going about it. The best exper... Read More

  5. by Jade 07th Dec 2010 17:48

    I was really nervous at the thought of anal sex, but after reading your tips and tricks Im quite eager to try it!! thank you so much!! :)

  6. by Alex & Katie 24th Jul 2011 05:40

    My husband and I finally tried anal sex. At first it hurt cuz we didnt use enough lube. Also we didnt talk about it like we should have first and for most. We are very much in love and... Read More

  7. by Kelly G 14th Sep 2012 05:30

    In addition to LOTS of lube and relaxation, POSITION is very important. I like to be on top in order to control the motion. You know how deep you are ready to take your lover's penis. W... Read More

  8. by Alexis Johnson 12th Feb 2013 00:11

    Anal sex is not for everyone, but trying it is. Some women swear by it--they talk about orgasms way more powerful than anything they've experienced during vaginal intercourse, and include anal play as part of their regular sex routines. Read The Expert Guide to Anal Sex....

  9. by angelgator 14th Feb 2013 16:04

    My ex-boyfriend was a great guy with a huge endowment (11" x 7") and he introduced me to Anal sex. Key: Let the woman push herself onto the man, otherwise it can be extremely painful.

  10. by Maggie 02nd May 2013 11:31

    Firstly, Thank You!!
    This article was an eye-opener for me. I have read about anal sex tips but its never been more simple! My husband and I have tried doing it a couple of times before, it was very painful and it has been unsuccessful all the times we tried.
    Now I know the reason behind the several infections.
    Well, through your article, I have found confidence to try again but this time the right way.
    I am really glad and grateful!
    Looking forward to some fun!
    Thank you!

  11. by Aziza 12th May 2013 20:28

    Personally, I have zero interest in anally penetrating a man (though I'm not above a little reach-around) and I have always enjoyed anal sex. In fact, I'd rather it than vaginal. My fir... Read More

  12. by deanna somerville 27th Jun 2013 16:57

    i tried it with my bf many times

  13. by Mr Nibbs 28th Jun 2013 18:48

    anal sex is disgusting and unnatural. GROSS!

  14. by candy wilde 02nd Mar 2014 01:11

    Lube is probably the most important ingredient for anal sex. Start off with a small but plug first. Its all about when the girl is ready!!

  15. by ashlyzoe 10th Jul 2014 04:30

    5-More Lube

  16. by mostirreverent 12th Jul 2014 04:55

    Mr Nibbs (FF Visitor) wrote:anal sex is disgusting and unnatural. GROSS!

    so is oral sex, but everyone likes it

  17. by Red head mum 12th Jul 2014 20:37

    mostirreverent wrote:
    Mr Nibbs (FF Visitor) wrote:anal sex is disgusting and unnatural. GROSS!

    so is oral sex, but everyone likes it

    I would still prefer to give oral sex to anal though and make good use of my bosom to ahem help him out :mrgreen:

  18. by Starshine 13th Jul 2014 17:26

    mostirreverent wrote:
    Mr Nibbs (FF Visitor) wrote:anal sex is disgusting and unnatural. GROSS!

    so is oral sex, but everyone likes it

    On the contrary, oral sex is the original natural lube.

  19. by Starshine 13th Jul 2014 17:27

    mostirreverent wrote:
    Mr Nibbs (FF Visitor) wrote:anal sex is disgusting and unnatural. GROSS!

    so is oral sex, but everyone likes it

    On the contrary, oral sex is far from unatural it is the original natural lube.

  20. by mostirreverent 16th Jul 2014 03:11

    Starshine wrote:
    mostirreverent wrote:
    Mr Nibbs (FF Visitor) wrote:anal sex is disgusting and unnatural. GROSS!

    so is oral sex, but everyone likes it

    On the contrary, oral sex is far from unatural it is the original natural lube.

    If it aint for begotten, it's the devils work.

    BTW, I think I'm on the list for top "tips" for anal :D and not for a diminutive size fran :D

  21. by Sunshine 29th Aug 2014 04:54

    Anal is one of the best things we have tried. It took two or three times, but once we got if right OMG!. Take it slow and lube lube lube..

  22. by Mr.B 05th Sep 2014 08:18

    if you think that why are you looking up how to have anal sex without pain?

  23. by dickbuttassfuck 20th Sep 2014 01:11

    7 inches in diameter?? stupid

  24. by jibs 22nd Nov 2014 08:21

    My wife doesnt like anal .... wat shud I do to convince her to have anal fuck ????

  25. by Anea 08th Dec 2014 19:40

    Back doors???? lol I couldnt resist

  26. by meep 09th Jan 2015 01:08

    Lol sharpie

  27. by meep 09th Jan 2015 01:10

    Lol Sharpie

  28. by ros3 09th Jan 2015 16:38

    Haha I used a glow stick . The things people do

  29. by Jill 17th Feb 2015 17:19

    Okay so the first time my boyfriend and I tried it we had talked about it and he'd begun fingering my butt but it was really painful even with lube so we didn't get very far. However we did try again and we used lotion rather than lube and he came within three minutes and while it hurt at first it actually felt really good. 100 times better than I had anticipated, ready to do it again already.

  30. by Lauren 19th Feb 2015 02:09

    I'm nervous about it iv tried it before when I was younger and it didn't really feel like anything but my boyfriend now wants to try it and I am just nervous it hurts. What position wou... Read More