Trust Your Gut : How to Know When He’s The One

21-11-2007 16:51

Introducing Female First's resident psychic expert Heidi Sawyer....

Here Heidi tells us how to know when to trust your gut instincts about whether he's Mr Right or Mr Run A Mile.

That rush of adrenalin when you hear his voice, the funny feeling in your stomach, the wobbly legs when you feel his breath on your neck, the excitement every time you meet, yes, you have found the man of dreams. He must be to have this incredible effect on you but how do you really know?

Over the years during the many consultations hundreds of women have asked me: ‘Is this the one?’ In the end the only true answer lies with their own basic gut feeling but up until now considered dispassionately.

Marie has discovered her Mr. Right, the man she is going to spend the rest of her life with, the man to make her babies. But there is still that nagging doubt is he the future or just a fleeting fixation? The sex is great but will he be great at the father bit too?

The mixed feeling Marie has is due to the many disappointments in the past, she has got to the stage where she is unable to trust her own judgment. Should she let all her defenses down and possibly be left an emotional wreck again or embrace this sensation of satisfaction and enjoy the experience?

Like many women, Marie knows that the sexy soul mate she can’t stop looking at now in that adoring way may turn into a heinous hulk she can’t stand to be in the same town as, let alone same bed. But how do you tell what the future holds?

In consultation with Marie I found she had lost her normal, cynical self and become a raspberry jelly, giggling like a love-struck lap dog unable to make a logical assessment of her feelings for this new man or even to reach any opinion on his commitment to her. True she did have some slight misgivings, but I was picking up even more.

The guy appeared to be out to impress, saying just the right things at the right time just a little too perfectly, he was so easy to talk to but was he only saying what Marie wanted to hear? Already only a couple of weeks into the relationship practically moving in, cooking her dinner, tidying her flat, flattering her with all sorts of small talk. Could Marie live in this altered state for ever or will the attraction fade away?

I asked Marie to get her true gut feeling about him in perspective, Is he sweet talking you really only a means of getting his own way, is he cooking because he doesn’t like yours, is he clearing up after you because he thinks you are a slob? Find what lies in his hidden psyche, be sure he wants YOU not someone he wants you to be.