Trust Your Gut : How to Know When He’s The One

21 November 2007

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Introducing Female First's resident psychic expert Heidi Sawyer....

Here Heidi tells us how to know when to trust your gut instincts about whether he's Mr Right or Mr Run A Mile.

That rush of adrenalin when you hear his voice, the funny feeling in your stomach, the wobbly legs when you feel his breath on your neck, the excitement every time you meet, yes, you have found the man of dreams. He must be to have this incredible effect on you but how do you really know?

Over the years during the many consultations hundreds of women have asked me: ‘Is this the one?’ In the end the only true answer lies with their own basic gut feeling but up until now considered dispassionately.

Marie has discovered her Mr. Right, the man she is going to spend the rest of her life with, the man to make her babies. But there is still that nagging doubt is he the future or just a fleeting fixation? The sex is great but will he be great at the father bit too?

The mixed feeling Marie has is due to the many disappointments in the past, she has got to the stage where she is unable to trust her own judgment. Should she let all her defenses down and possibly be left an emotional wreck again or embrace this sensation of satisfaction and enjoy the experience?

Like many women, Marie knows that the sexy soul mate she can’t stop looking at now in that adoring way may turn into a heinous hulk she can’t stand to be in the same town as, let alone same bed. But how do you tell what the future holds?

In consultation with Marie I found she had lost her normal, cynical self and become a raspberry jelly, giggling like a love-struck lap dog unable to make a logical assessment of her feelings for this new man or even to reach any opinion on his commitment to her. True she did have some slight misgivings, but I was picking up even more.

The guy appeared to be out to impress, saying just the right things at the right time just a little too perfectly, he was so easy to talk to but was he only saying what Marie wanted to hear? Already only a couple of weeks into the relationship practically moving in, cooking her dinner, tidying her flat, flattering her with all sorts of small talk. Could Marie live in this altered state for ever or will the attraction fade away?

I asked Marie to get her true gut feeling about him in perspective, Is he sweet talking you really only a means of getting his own way, is he cooking because he doesn’t like yours, is he clearing up after you because he thinks you are a slob? Find what lies in his hidden psyche, be sure he wants YOU not someone he wants you to be.

I told her in no uncertain terms, Marie, make up your mind; are you looking for a long term relationship or just a bit of lust to tide you over?

To predict your prospects of this as your ideal man to spend the rest of your life with you should put him through the all telling Psychic Assessment, to get into his soul and discover if you really are mated.

Getting into his Soul

• 1. Sit quietly on your own. Feel in your gut where the butterflies fly, does it feel calm beneath the turmoil?
• 2. When you talk about him to others is it from the reality or the potential of the relationship?
• 3. Do you think about the ways you would change him?
• 4. Do you think he believes you are his perfect partner?
• 5. Are you scared of commitment but think you could get over it with this man?
• 6. Can you talk to each other in a natural way or do you have to be courageous?
• 7. Does it feel right?

Everyone has intuition and a ‘psychic’ side it is a matter of tapping into this part of you to discover the reality of a situation. This is when you can view your relationship honestly and instinctively. Sometimes when too close to a situation it is hard to tell or we try and make it fit what’s comfortable. Tapping into your intuitive side allows you to have an outside view looking in. People describe this as ‘just knowing’.

Marie thought her new man was the one. He ticked many boxes but somehow instinctively she wasn’t quite sure hence she asked for my viewpoint. I felt the ‘energy’ of the relationship wasn’t quite right and he was a temporary boyfriend who would be followed by the real thing. Sure enough a few months later the relationship fizzled. His values did not match her, she had fallen for the potential of the relationship rather than who he was. Her next boyfriend caught her by surprise, a lovely chap who she normally ‘wouldn’t look twice at.’ Nervous but attentive he has his own life and interests. Taking it slowly, without rushing, he wanted to get to know her. Today they are engaged, living a very happy life, I’ve bought my hat, it’s a summer wedding.

Let us know below if you have any questions you would like Heidi to answer

Heidi Sawyer BA (hons) is a Psychic Consultant & Course Director for the Institute of Psychic Development and author of Why M y Mother Didn’t Want Me To Be Psychic – The intelligent Guide to the Sixth Sense

How psychic are you? Take the PsiQ test at www.psychiccourses.com