Help! My Mother's Dating - page 2

8 months ago 09th Mar 14:24

The Marilyn Mason Look. If she's still hanging on to blue shadow, pearly pink lipstick and a curly perm then suggest you both finish off the day with a makeover at one of the big stores or book her into your local beauty salon.

We all tend to get stuck with the makeup we've worn since our teens, so this should provide a little inspiration. Having your eyebrows shaped properly can have amazing effect on a face almost as good as a mini face lift, and a good hair cut can take years off.

Getting Mum out there. Internet dating is a great way for people of all ages to meet someone new, but help your newly made over mum to be safe! Make sure she always meets somewhere in public, that she never gives her home address or home phone number away and she should always let someone know where she is.

Arrange to text your mum after the first half hour. If she's happy she can text back, if she's not ok, it’s a great get out of jail free card! 'Oh I'm sorry I've got to go my daughter has a problem’ is all she needs to say, and tell her not to specify what problem in case Mr Wrong offers to help her with it!!

Keeping her out there! Mr Right is unlikely to be the first man your mum meets. So until he shows up encourage her to join clubs and classes in things that she enjoys which will not only help to boost her confidence but also widen her social circle. Who knows who she might meet and this is a great way to get her out and about if you think she should be dating but she isn't.

If she's worried about computer dating suggest helping her with an online profile. But respect her opinion she may be nervous so to let her take it slowly if she wants to. But be positive about her taking 'the next step'.

Talk about what she wants from life and what sort of person she is looking for. There are lots of organisations that arrange singles holidays, both at home and abroad, some with romance in mind, some with friendship, which might be a good starting point if she's reluctant.

Mr Right. It's important that any potential Mr Rights meet family and friends as soon as possible.  If you've been asked to help organise something make sure it’s informal and easy - a barbeque with friends and family or a walk with the dog are a good place to start. Be prepared for the fact that however keen you are for your mum to find someone lovely, it still might come as a bit of a shock when she does.

Mr Wrong? There is a chance that you might not like him. If that's the case be honest with yourself and with her if she asks your opinion. Be gentle too. Do you think given time you might like him or is he not your sort at all? It's fine to say that you can see he's good for her but not your sort of person.

He may grow on you but if something about him genuinely disturbs you, you need to tell her, just like you would if she was a girl friend.  Make sure you and your mum have plenty of time together when her new man is not around to see how she is and keep your relationship with her as good as it is now.

Keeping Mum Happy. A new relationship and a busy social life will improve your mum's health. It’s important that she doesn’t spend too much time on her own as loneliness is proven to be bad for your health. 

Loneliness has recently be linked to a group of health problems including upping your blood pressure, releasing a stress hormone called cortisol (which, also it makes you fat), and makes you a prime candidate for Alzheimer's Disease.

It can also disturb your sleeping habits, lower your immune system, and make you depressed. So helping your mum get back out there on the dating circuit will not only make both of you happy but it could improve her health as well.

Kate Lawson is the author of Keeping Mum a brilliantly funny comedy about what it’s like when you’re mum moves back in with you and is published on the 16th of March 2009, by Avon Harper Collins £6.99.