Help! My Mother's Dating

09 March 2009

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You're all grown up with a family and a life of your own and then all of a sudden out of the blue the woman who used to sew the badges on your brownie uniform has discovered the internet and is dating all over again.  It will definitely come as a shock at first but don’t be the one to step between your mum and her happiness.

How can you help to make her re-launch into the world of romance as painless (for both of you!) as possible? Follow Kate Lawson’s top ten tips on how to get your mum back on the dating scene and soon those nights in with your mum in front of the telly will be a thing of the past.

Mums are people too. Shocking as it may seem mums are people too. You may have some doubts about your mum heading off looking for romance, but be honest are you really worried that  maybe she’ll get hurt or is it that she won't have as much time for you?

If you're concerned about having to share her with someone new, make sure you make time for just the two of you maybe a regular lunch date or get together over coffee and don't just see her as someone to leave the kids with or pick up your shopping.

If you're worried about her getting hurt, well she might, but that's what being human and being loved is all about. When it comes right down to it, Mums need just as much appreciation, flattery, love, sex and romance as the rest of us.

The birds and the bees. The over 50’s come from an era when sex was fun and for the most part disease free because there is little or no risk of pregnancy they don’t naturally think about using a condom and as a result there is the highest increase in STD's in this age group than any other. So maybe it’s high time you sat your mum down and told her the facts of life before she heads out on that hot date with the man she met on the internet.

If you've got it flaunt it. Want to help your mum look her best for her first date since the 60’s? Now may be just the time to suggest a girlie day out. There’s some great makeover and style advice on TV and in magazines but first and foremost all women even your mum - need good underwear.

Over the years the shape of our bodies changes, but we tend to blithely buy the same bra size year after year. Major chains like Debenhams and M&S have fitters in store trained to measure you up and sort you out. A well fitting bra will make all your clothes hang better. And if she wants to go into Ann Summers?  I'd go grab a coffee!

No not that mini, mother.  ‘Personal Shoppers’ are not just for the rich and famous, Selfridges, House of Fraser and even Debenhams offer this service (not in all branches, ring to check for availability) and some charge a booking fee redeemable against purchases.

If your mum's look is a little frumpy or she’s lost when it comes to fashion and has no idea what suits her, then this is a great way to get her some advice and help choosing new outfits. If you think that would be too intimidating for your mum, M&S have started to train their womenswear advisors to offer comprehensive personal shopping advice on the shop floor.

The Marilyn Mason Look. If she's still hanging on to blue shadow, pearly pink lipstick and a curly perm then suggest you both finish off the day with a makeover at one of the big stores or book her into your local beauty salon.

We all tend to get stuck with the makeup we've worn since our teens, so this should provide a little inspiration. Having your eyebrows shaped properly can have amazing effect on a face almost as good as a mini face lift, and a good hair cut can take years off.

Getting Mum out there. Internet dating is a great way for people of all ages to meet someone new, but help your newly made over mum to be safe! Make sure she always meets somewhere in public, that she never gives her home address or home phone number away and she should always let someone know where she is.

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