Lasting Love Tips

27 July 2010

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Garry Marshall's new movie Valentine's Day puts relationships, and different types of relationships, under the microscope but what is the secret to everlasting love?

Take time to talk 

Did you know the average couple spend just 11 minutes a day alone with each other? With so many demands on our daily lives, it’s so easy to put our relationships on the back burner.

But no matter how busy you are, make time to chat about your day together. Even if you do it for just 10 minutes, it’s proven that catching up like this will help keep you happier and closer as a couple.   

Make a date to appreciate each other

Appreciation is one of the biggest buffers against feeling neglected and resentful in a relationship. So when you see something in your partner you appreciate, express it. With words or gestures.

Showing appreciation regularly not only makes us feel better about ourselves, it also shines fresh light on our relationship and prevents it from getting stale.

Have a good argument

It’s easy to think happy couples don’t argue. Quite the opposite is true.

Voicing a disagreement with your other half prevents future resentments from building up and can even contribute to a healthy love life.

But for an argument to be useful, there are certain rules. The most important of these being self-control. This means not speaking to your partner when you’re angry.

When you’ve counted to 99 (or whatever number it takes for you to cool down!), chat about what it is that’s upset you.

Bring up what he’s done rather than blaming him personally. Then talk through how you can practically resolve the issue together. Once this is done, move on and keep the past where it should stay -behind you!

Kiss

Don’t underestimate the power of kissing. So many couples get complacent and kiss their partner without thinking. So start kissing as thoughtfully as you did at the beginning of your relationship.

It will work wonders for your love life. Not only this, kissing has anti anxiety properties; so kissing is a great way to reduce stress.

Schedule Sex  

The honeymoon phase, or as I call it, the 'get a room' phase typically lasts 28-24 months. After this has passed, for most of us keeping sex on top of the priority list can become challenging. So to keep your love life alive decide in advance when to make love. Then just do it!

I know it may sound unromantic but I promise you, it’s better to have planned sex than waiting weeks for spontaneous sex. Noone says you can’t be spontaneous when you have sex that’s been planned!

Without any doubt, keeping physically connected like this plays a very strong part in helping you stay bonded as a couple.

Valentine's Day is out on DVD now.

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