Real Stories - The Life Of A Modern Day Mistress

30 May 2012

I have been asked by many people over the last couple of years why I choose the lifestyle of a serial mistress.
It can't be explained in a succinct sentence, or even a paragraph. No matter how long the explanation, many will never comprehend why I would, firstly, want to do it and, secondly, openly talk about it.
So, in this column, over the next few weeks, I hope to enlighten you, and if I can change the opinion of just one person who wanted to assume I was a sad, desperate, evil temptress, then my work here is done. I don't expect everyone to love what I write, or how I write, but I do hope you all give yourselves the chance to read about my life, the fun I have, the highs and the lows, and come out the other side understanding more about a lifestyle choice many single women are now adopting.

Men have taken a mistress since Ancient times. King Solomon had 300 along with his 700 wives – which, in my opinion, sounds a little extreme and a bit of a handful, but I know a few guys who would consider that many, given half the chance. The 'concubine' was a normal part of married life, almost an expectation, for centuries.
In many countries, even today, men have a mistress as a status symbol, and the wives know all about them.
It seems in this country, and in only the past few decades, the mistress has been viewed as an evil femme fatale and destructive threat. It could be down to the fact we only hear about the men who get caught, but just how many successful affairs happen, and we know nothing about them?

I'm just an average single girl, dating my own way, doing something I enjoy, and hurting no one in the process

Due to the freedom of information, we hear more about celebrities and their indiscretions via news, internet and gossip magazines, than ever before. We see more affairs written into soaps, dramas and even comedies. It becomes old news to hear about another case of infidelity, yet we are still outraged to witness the breakdown of the marriage or the destruction of a career, usually blaming the scarlet woman who destroyed their solid relationship.
Even in TV-land, we never see a happy ending or a natural, calm parting of the ways with the mistress. The wife always finds out and everyone's world is blown apart.
The mistress is then vilified and lives her life in shame, damned for tempting the poor innocent fool who didn't know his own mind.
This is not how reality actually plays out.
I am yet to see any relationship destroyed following an affair with me.
However, I do believe the blame for the end of any relationship involving infidelity, should be apportioned equally between all three parties.

So many affairs go undetected, and fizzle out in their own time, with no collateral damage whatsoever. Consider how many men and women in the world have been, or are looking to be, unfaithful, and we are completely oblivious to their deceit.
Think of your work colleagues, your neighbours, your friends or even your family, and at least one in three of those people will have had an encounter, from a full-blown affair, a fling, a one-night-stand to an illicit kiss. That's a shocking amount of people, both men and women. Can you work out who they are? Was it you? Is it your partner? I guarantee you would be surprised if you did know. ,br> If they all had to wear headgear, advertising their indiscretion, those you least expect to stray would be sporting their hat at a jaunty angle.

The onset of modern technology has both encouraged and enabled many illicit encounters, making 'sexting' a new pastime, intimate conversations the norm before meeting, and allowing long distance affairs to flourish. Men used to have to choose a woman from their direct social circle, or office, making detection almost inevitable. Now they can have a mistress 300 miles away, giving her all the attention she needs, and making sure they aren't caught on their own doorstep. However, technology has also hindered many careless men who are not so IT savvy, and I will be dedicating a column to this subject in a week or two.

Infidelity is a very emotive subject, touching almost everyone's lives. There never appears to be a good outcome, people always get hurt. But what I hope to show is the alternative. It doesn't need to be painful, it doesn't need to be destructive, and, more importantly, it doesn't need to be the mistresses fault.

My life, and my weekly diary on here, may not be as exciting as you expect. It will be interesting, and hopefully entertaining, but I don't claim to be jet-setting all over the world, receiving flowers and presents every day. I'm not a hooker, being paid for my services. I'm not an escort, entertaining sad, lonely businessmen. I'm just an average single girl, dating my own way, doing something I enjoy, and hurting no one in the process

'Karen uses leading married persons dating website IllicitEncounters.com