Sometimes, just sometimes, totally out of the blue when you least expect it, you come across a connection. They always say it happens when you're not even looking, and in my case that is true. I haven't really been visiting illicitencounters.com very often. I've been concentrating on the men I already have, and my personal life. But recently, I popped on to the site to check mail and came across someone who made me glad to be alive.
I've been checking the site regularly, but only to keep on top of my messages, to send the polite 'thanks but no thanks' emails, and keep my profile ticking along, but I went back on a week ago with a little more time on my hands. I was in the mood to see who was around, and possibly add to my harem. I am always open to temptation, but rarely does someone jump out at me and make me weak at the knees.
Within an hour of being logged in I was, yet again, inundated with emails. The selection process began, my odd 'thanks but no thanks', my polite 'not sure if we're looking for the same things', my occasional 'think you may be too far away' and one or two 'happy to chat to get to know you better'. The emails started, even though I wasn't sure if anything would ever come of it, then he literally jumped out of the screen. I'm not being shallow, I don't mean his picture was amazing - although he is attractive, but his emails and messages were a delight to read. We started chatting, and things have progressed at quite a pace. A worrying pace to be honest, but for now we are going to enjoy the moment.
Now and again, someone appears, totally out of the blue, who makes you want to stuff the rules and book the hotel room immediately!
He's new to this and slightly unnerved, but very excited, by the speed of things. He's fairly smitten/hooked/obsessed already. Our problem is the fact that it will be quite a while before we can possibly meet each other for various reasons. Circumstances mean we will have to be patient, which is going to be tough, and frustrating. As he is a novice he is unaware of the perils of getting carried away so soon, meeting and being thoroughly disappointed. As somewhat of an expert I know how easy it is to fall for the online persona; the attentive, funny (cause he has time to think of good lines), keen person who wants you to be the centre of his world. But when reality kicks in and you realise you were never meant for each other it can be devastating. Worse still when you realise everything said was a lie, and the picture was actually of his better looking brother - it can be very hard. So, for this reason, I tend to keep my feet firmly placed on the ground. But as in this case, that is incredibly hard to do.
As you know I'm not one for meeting on a first date in a hotel room and falling into bed together, no matter how good the chemistry may be: I always arrange to meet for coffee/drinks/lunch/dinner to see how it goes. But now and again, someone appears, totally out of the blue, who makes you want to stuff the rules and book the hotel room immediately!
An hour of looking on illicitencounters.com and it has already happened to me. I should know better by now but every now and then the dating gods throw me a curve ball. The last time they did was a nightmare and I swore I'd never listen to them again but sometimes…there he is. The perfect man (don't worry, I know he doesn't exist - perfect as much as he can be by my standards!): the right attitude, knowing exactly what to say, attentive, lovely voice, easy to talk to and wrapped up in a package I really 'would'!
So, it's 3am, my mind is doing cartwheels, and I'm trying to find a way to slow things without offending him, or make him think it's personal, trying to control my urge to book a hotel room at the earliest possible opportunity, trying to resist the desire to put everything else on hold while I dedicate ridiculous amounts of time to keep in touch with him, and trying, TRYING to listen to my sensible head that says coffee or a drink will be far better than mad, passionate, rampant sex!
WHO AM I KIDDING????!!!???!!!??
And all of you will be screaming 'Do it' at the screen right now. No matter how good the cappuccino is, it can never compete with a good hard......
Damn this man and my burning loins!!! I'll keep you posted!
Karen uses leading married persons dating website, IllicitEncounters.com
by Cara Mason
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by Judy 04th Jul 2012 10:42
Do it! You only live once!