Real Life Stories: Diary of A Mistress Part VI

12 July 2012

I'm a plate spinner. I freely admit it and everyone knows it. Not literally of course - I don't work at a circus, or go on stage with a set of tall sticks and some old crockery, but I see my married, and single, men as plates. I keep them all spinning with attention, affection and regular dates, but if I stop paying attention to one they will naturally drop off the stick.

I manage it because I have time. I am lucky enough to work for myself. I am very good at remembering what is happening in my life and because I'm female I can manage to think of, and organise, more than one thing at once.  I could be dating or communicating with up to six guys at a time, with the regular meets I have, and the potentials on the subs bench, it can be time consuming.  But I have never yet made a mistake, or forgotten a name, even the guys I have not made arrangements to meet.  It could be that I meet a guy, after lots of contact, and we realise it's not for us, in which case I let the plate smash to the ground, but soon enough the stick will be spinning a replacement, sparkly new piece of tableware.

You need an amazing memory, you must be very honest with your partners, or you should admit defeat and stick to one at a time.

Recently I have been witness to a man attempting some plate spinning of his own, and, although it was an eye opener, it wasn't pretty.  Not only was he struggling with the complexity of it (and the admin), he was finding it impossible to make the time for everyone involved. Surely, if you haven't got the time, or the mental capacity, to keep more than one plate in the air then don't start spinning another one. One of the plates can be the Mrs, one or two plates can be the kids, and several of the plates can be work.

Firstly, if your plate spinning is already becoming difficult then don't, for goodness sake, join a dating site. Especially if it's - and I quote - 'the busiest time of the year at work'. If it is quiet in January and busy in July then surely sense says don't join the site on the 25th June!! Secondly, if your wife has been working for years, but has just been made redundant, don't sign up to meet new women and embark on a potential affair the week before she finishes work! And thirdly - if you want to dabble in the world of infidelity, spread your wild oats and sample the delights of many lovely ladies, then either limit the quantity of partners so you can cope with them all, or be completely honest with them so they understand the situation and won't make unreasonable demands on you.

Some women prefer meeting their lover once every two or three months but others want or need attention every couple of weeks. Surely if the plate spinning becomes a difficult task then something needs to give before you crash and burn, as one of my potential 'friends' did today. He sent me a text message referring to our date last week - we have yet to meet! He then called me, but when I said 'I guess that wasn't meant for me', he apologised and explained it was meant for a client - cos I'm THAT stupid!! He proceeded to say 'Are we still OK for Tuesday next week?' and I pointed out we had not made any plans for then. To add insult to injury, as he was saying goodbye, he called me Kay. Admittedly that could have been an innocent abbreviation of Karen but I have a funny feeling he had my name wrong, and he is in fact meeting Kay next Tuesday.

The point I'm making as a fellow plate spinner - you need an amazing memory, you must be very honest with your partners, or you should admit defeat and stick to one at a time. I know the guys on illicitencounters.com have to line up as many potentials as they can during their paid membership, but does that mean they have to eliminate any prospect of common decency? Sort it out guys!

Surprisingly enough, us girls might not be upset if you are seeing other people, after all we probably have several potentials on the go too, but be honest with us about it and stop denying it, you may be surprised by our reaction. Mistresses aren't like wives, we are a different breed.  We don't turn into screaming banshees if you admit to having another woman around. We will respect your honesty and be grateful for you telling us. At least then, if you slip up and call us the wrong name, we can laugh at you for being an idiot, instead of dumping you for being a lying ***********! Hey ho, at least this behaviour is a real rarity on the site.

Karen uses leading married persons dating website, IllicitEncounters.com

by Cara Mason find me on and follow me on