What is a girl to do when her gay best friend turns straight? It's a dilemma I am having to face at the moment. I'm truly mortified by the revelations because I didn't envisage any unexpected declarations of love at any time. I thought the people in my life pretty much knew where they were, as sorted and as well-adjusted as me. I love that all of my friends are open and honest with me, and very comfortable with their sexuality. I know over the years many of my friends, both male and female, gay and straight, have come to me with their problems and life issues. They have arrived at a crossroad in their lives, needing the love, support and wise advice I always offer. I have helped them through some incredibly difficult times and I have never judged or questioned their eventual decisions whether they have taken my advice or not.
My gay best friend has had his own issues lately and I have been there with a supportive hug and some sensible advice, just like the great agony aunt and friend I am. I have helped him through some things he didn't feel he could discuss with anyone else and, as with many of my friends, he felt he needed to turn to me first. I adore all of my friends. We enjoy each other's company, we are in contact often and know we would be there for each other if we needed anything. As for my best friend, we are very close and always have been.
He had a one night stand with a girl and I joked with him about turning straight in his old age. Next thing I know he's telling me he loves me and would be with me if I wasn't a mistress.
He won't mind me saying this, in fact he'll be secretly proud, he's as camp as a box set of Glee! It really suits him, he's fabulous! He is the typical gay best friend. He has great taste in clothes and shoes, and the best taste in men. We have sat in bars together, spotting gorgeous men, and we have similar taste, apart from his love of very young, skinny, camp guys. We've shared many a laugh while nursing a bottle of wine together, or a big fat breakfast the morning after the night before. He tells me all about his conquests every weekend, I'm the first to know if he finds a regular boyfriend, or if he's just slagging about at the weekend. We love our nights out, and the outrageous catch up on the phone if we can't get together.
He's intelligent, sweet, attractive, and a really good man. When I was sick recently, he offered to get his church group to say a few prayers for me. He has the biggest heart of all of my friends. He would never say no to anyone in need. He is a good Christian boy, and a fabulous friend. I love him to bits and want him around always.
But, a couple of days ago he told me how he felt about me, totally out of the blue. He had a one night stand with a girl and I joked with him about turning straight in his old age. Next thing I know he's telling me he loves me and would be with me if I wasn't a Mistress. He wants me to give up the life I love to be with him. He explained he had always struggled with my desire to remain single, and that was why he hadn't declared his feelings to me before now.
Anyone who knows me understands the love I have for my single life, and, partly because of what I do, I have trust issues, believing every man is capable of cheating at some point in their relationship. I know how many men are doing this via illicitencounters.com, not to mention the ones doing it in bars, or at work. Normally women only have to worry about one gender being a potential threat. But if I decided to settle down into a relationship with him, not only would beautiful women be a threat, beautiful men would be too. I'd have twice the worry. I'd never ask him to give up his wanton ways because he loves the chase and the thrill so much, but I do know he's looking for a serious relationship. Maybe it would be the making of him. I always thought he would settle down with a fabulous man, adopt a couple of children, get a dog and live happily ever after because that's what he wants, and deserves. But I never considered that picture would include me apart from in the capacity of outrageous godmother or crazy aunt.
I'm going to have to let him down gently, and I truly hope it doesn't ruin our friendship, but I love him too much to have a Relationship with him, and potentially end up hating him!
Karen uses leading married persons dating website IllicitEncounters.com
by Cara Mason
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