by Katy Horwood, relationship and dating expert
Relationships on Female First
Men - you think you know them when suddenly, out of the blue, you realise that, who you thought you were dating, is not who you were dating at all.
And unfortunately, when it comes to sussing out who you are really sharing a bed with, time is slightly more of the essence the older one gets. So, unless you're looking to spend two years of your life on a guy who's idea of commitment is booking you a cab on his Uber account at 3am, sometimes it is useful to sort the players from the keepers.
If you think you are dating a player, you probably are. But if you're still not sure - 8 ways to tell your boyfriend might not be all that he seems.
1. He's charm personified
Players aren't always good looking but they are always charming and charismatic. An experienced player is an expert at the double bluff, presenting himself as spontaneous and innocent at the beginning of a relationship and ignoring the 'rules of dating' from day one.
If you find yourself with an over-whelming sense of relief at having meeting someone who doesn't play games at the beginning of a relationship - the chances are, you're dating a player.
2. He'll make you feel like the only woman in the world
For the first month at least. Because the nature of a player is, they like to play games - luring you in by making you think you've met 'the one' just adds to the excitement. While he's pursuing you, a player will want to focus on the prize (aka you, naked, in his bed) and once he's won you ... he'll be bored and move onto the next one.
3. He can't leave his phone alone
If you met your potential player online and find yourself reading his profile as 'active within the last 24 hours' three months into the relationship, you might want to reconsider his commitment to you.
Because, no, he is not just clearing his inbox.
If he's not online but spends more time on Whatsapp than a 15-year-old girl (and never leaves his phone upright on the table or in the room when he's not there) then don't say I didn't warn you.
4. You are not his only 'girlfriend'
Players don't date women, they collect them. By contrast, they often have far fewer male friends - not understanding why you'd have a person in your life who you couldn't potentially have sex with.
If your boyfriend's Facebook page is more than 70/30 women, prepare for the worst.
5. He likes to 'keep you for himself'
Or at least that's what he'll tell you. Don't expect to meet a player's friends or family anytime soon, or for him to jump at meeting yours - players do not mix business with pleasure.
With an ego that big there is little room for anything else in his life, least of all tea with the in-laws.
6. He's intense
A player doesn't follow rules - which is part of his devilish charm - he'll call you when he wants, far more often than is 'normal' and will stoke the fires of passion, quicker than you can say 'have you seen my knickers'.
Players know what they want (read:sex) and know how to get it (read:now).
7. He's full of crap
Think of a player as a modern day cad - charming and addictive, but basically full of s**t.
Fortunately for players, their crap is often bought because they are so good at wrapping it up and delivering it. Crap includes, sweeping statements about connection and chemistry, declarations of love and lust and passionate conversations about meeting 'the one'.
8. He disappears as soon as he arrives
The ultimate way to recognise that you're dating a player - by the time you get close to him he'll be dust.
There is little point in even entering into a relationship conversation with a player less you want to see what a human being looks like running at the speed of light.
So if you're the interest du jour, enjoy it while it lasts - because it sure won't last forever.
tagged in dating