First kiss
He will always bring you flowers!
Expectation
He will sweep you up in his arms and you will share the best kiss of your life but not before looking deeply into each other's eyes and smiling because you have never ever been this happy. Move over The Notebook.
Reality
He leans towards you while you're sat on the couch and texting. You gave him no signals that you want to kiss but somehow he's interpreted your dismissive body language to mean 'I must have you now.'
Cooking
Expectation
The table looks like something restaurant worthy and he enjoys every bite. You know he wants you to cook again but not in the misogynistic sense.
Reality
The kitchen is filled with smoke, your dinner looks like a dog turd and you question why you decided to tackle something as complicated as a roast dinner when you always burn toast.
Dinner conversation
Expectation
Funny, lighthearted and easy going.
Reality
Awkward, staggered and boring.
Spooning
Expectation
Like your bodies were made for this. It's comfortable, it's easy and natural. You totally look like a movie couple doing this.
Reality
His arm goes to sleep because it's trapped under your body and he spins you off the bed in a desperate attempt to escape your dead weight.
Partners in crime
Expectation
You make a plan and talk endlessly about all the things you are going to do once it comes to fruition, then you do it.
Reality
You sit on opposite ends of the couch with a laptop and question if you can even be bothered to leave the house for food.
Break up
Expectation
It's mutual and you can be friends afterwards.
Reality
You sit half naked for weeks afterwards drinking to excess and eating nothing but takeout food.
tagged in The Notebook