By Katy Horwood- founder of the award-winning blog, www.all-sweetness-and-life.com, focusing predominantly on dating, sex & relationships.

Relationships on Female First

Relationships on Female First

Dating in your thirties is a minefield. From over-analysing dates to see if they're 'the one' to signing up to sixteen dating sites as part of mission-husband.

Stop it immediately.

And forget the advice you've been given in the past about 'love finding you when you least expect it' (it doesn't, fyi) - here are the only things you need to remember when dating in your thirties.

Don't be a cliche - he doesn't need to know your life plan on a first date

Let's get it out there first - given that it is widely considered to be *the* cardinal sin of the dating world.

Talking about marriage, children, or indeed, any sort of commitment beyond who's buying the next round on a first (read: second, third or fourth) date, will have your date running for the hills in an uncontrollable fit of panic, and quite rightly so.

The cliche of wedding-crazed thirty-somethings is a cliche for a reason.

Don't be that girl

Saying that …

Don't waste your time on players either

By which I mean, men who are never going to give you anything beyond a good bunk up and a bit of fun. This includes, ex-boyfriends, ridiculously good-looking barmen on a gap year and 90% of men who are younger than you.

Frustrating as it is, women in their mid-thirties have a notably different mindset to men in their mid-thirties.

Bare this in mind the next time your 'boyfriend' says he hates 'labels' six months into the relationship.

Throw away your shopping list

'I don't date men under 5'10, who earn less than 70k.'

Sigh.

*There is no such thing as Prince Charming*

Open your mind to the idea that nobody is perfect and that, by discounting people who don't meet your 'standards', you may well be shutting yourself off to the possibility of something great.

Give your date a chance

Every six months or so, random statistics make an appearance on the web about how many minutes it takes to realise you fancy a person. Which is all nonsense, of course.

Because, first dates are the last place people are likely to be themselves, and it often takes a good few hours before people relax and their true personality shines though.

Give your date a chance - and the courtesy of a decent conversation before you write them off completely.

Get off the sofa

Love doesn't find you.

Love finds people who are going on dates with potential new partners.

(Yes, even in February)

Have fun

Men like to date women in their twenties because they have perkier boobs, but more importantly, they don't over-analyse. Without the pressure of clocks ticking, it is much easier to take things as they come and not turn a date into a job interview.

It's no coincidence that this, in turn, creates a much more organic environment for a relationship to grow.

Lighten up, have fun, and go with an open mind.

If you want to date successfully in your thirties, start thinking like a twenty-three-year-old.

... But not one that likes ridiculously good-looking barmen on a gap year, obviously.


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