Don't even talk about afternoon teas

Don't even talk about afternoon teas

Your family and friends think she's strange- No matter how long you've been together- they still think it's odd that when they ask her 'do you want a brew?' and she replies with 'I'll just have water, thanks.' They look at her like she's had a really misspent youth.

You've tried and tried to get her into the stuff- When you make a round of hot drinks or just one for yourself, you always ask if she wants one on the off chance she's changed her mind and now loves a good cuppa.

Coffee shops trips aren't all that easy- You know what you want before you enter the café, but she will survey the whole menu before making her choice. It's generally something weird concoction of fruit that takes ages to prepare- while your coffee waits- and gets cold.

You can't ever buy her a mug for a gift- The go-to present if you're stuck on Birthdays and Christmas- but you know that it'll be a total waste of money or used for something other than what it was designed for - like a pen holder. Sacrilege.

She's always ready to leave after dessert- You want to stay for a coffee when you go out for a meal but she just wants the bill and for you to save a fiver and drink something hot at home.

She won't even drink hot chocolate- You've accepted she doesn't like the taste of coffee or tea- but everyone loves a hot chocolate right? Not her. She likes cold drinks only.

You can't share in the joy of a good brew- That pleasure you get from the first taste of really good quality cup of coffee or tea is totally wasted on her. She's more interested if her squash has real fruit in it to care.

You miss out on tea and talk time- Because she doesn't flick on the kettle as she comes through the door, the concept of a brew and banter doesn't come under her radar.

She sees making a coffee or tea as a chore- Waiting for the kettle to boil, the bag to brew and stirring in the milk is too much hard work so she no longer asks you what you want to drink and just gives you whatever drink she's having. A glass of water is far less effort, you'll admit but it doesn't taste as good.

She'll never know the comfort of a hot drink on a cold day- You wonder how she makes it through winter without craving a warm mug between her fingers when it's freezing outdoors.

Tea for two- Is really an ocean of tea for you and a side serving of something else cold and wet for her.

Afternoon teas are an embarrassment- You go for the tea, she goes for the sandwiches and cakes- a good balance but the waiter/ress finds it unfathomable that she would pay to have an afternoon tea with a glass of the clear stuff.

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