He proposed before he knew!

He proposed before he knew!

Our discussion board is alive with people writing in about their problems, so we enlisted the help of relationship and dating expert Hayley Quinn to answer on of our member’s dilemmas!

‘Im just after a bit of advice please.’

‘I’m 34 and my husband is 40, we have been together 8 years and before he proposed he knew I wanted a child. We got married 2 1/2 years ago and started trying for a baby quite soon. After trying for 1 1/2 years he changed his mind and now doesn’t want children.’

‘He has 3 children from a previous relationship aged 10-18, I have welcomed his children but am starting to feel increasingly angry towards them and the situation.... I know it is not their fault!!!’

‘I’ve expressed how I feel in every manor from trying to be "adult" about it to screaming and stamping my feet. I feel cheated, I know he has the right to change his mind but am I being unreasonable?’

‘Please help feel like I’m losing my mind.’

Discussion board member

Hayley says:

Where people’s life priorities clash it can be easy to get bogged down into who is right and who is wrong. The reality is we're all individuals with our own unique and valid wants, needs and desires. 

 

For this reader children are hugely important: and for her, her husbands crossed a personal boundary of hers with his actions. 

 

So whilst you can't make a person do anything (whether that's by adult discussion or foot stamping) it's important for her to know what she values most. If having children is what she really wants then she has to weigh that up against maintaining her current relationship

 

She can't change his mind necessarily, but she can change her actions. If she decides that having a baby is her number one priority, and finding a partner who has the same life goals is the most important thing then her husband maybe prompted to reconsider. On the flip side she may decide a happy, stable marriage is more valuable, on which case she'd have to take the action to start forgiving her husband

 

The bottom line is to always take action on your terms, in line with your goals: and to leave as little of your destiny in other people's hands as possible.

Website: www.hayleyquinn.com

Email: [email protected]


by for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
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