Fifty Shades of Grey has inspired hundreds of couples to try out bondage in the bedroom, but with so many varieties, where does one start?
Married dating site AshleyMadison.com found that 50 per cent of its members have tried S&M after reading the erotic novel, so the trend is certainly growing!
It’s important to do bondage as safely as possible to keep it exciting without it ending in disaster, so we’ve asked Hella Walkington, writer and bondage expert at lovehoney.co.uk to give us her professional insight.
If you’ve never tried bondage before, Hella suggests simply starting off with a blindfold.
She says, “Start softly and gently by using nothing but a blindfold. Wearing a blindfold not only increases the wearer’s sensitivity to touch, taste, smell and sound, it also helps the wearer to feel less self-conscious so they can enjoy themselves more.
“Once your lover is blindfolded slowly massage or kiss their body. The sexual anticipation will have them wild with desire.”
Hella says, “The satin feels delightfully soft against the skin and the easy-tie construction means you get perfect wrist bondage every time.”
Spanking is another way to indulge in bondage, but Hella says, “When it comes to spankers remember to start gently and work your way up.
“When spanking, paddling and whipping you want to slowly build up intensity - the idea is to make the body feel more sensitive, not to leave it feeling sore. Start with gentle strokes and soft hits and gently work your way up.”
Hella suggests using the magical silver balls made famous in Fifty Shades to add intensity to spanking.
Kegel8 Smart Balls are great for this as the little weighted balls, which are inserted into the vagina, create great stimulation and also tone the all-important pelvic floor. They’re fun AND good for your health, what could be better? You can get yours from kegel8.co.uk.
Nipple clamps may be seen as a little ‘hardcore’ so Hella suggests using nipple suckers instead.
She says, “Nipple clamps might seem a little heavy for most beginners, so why not try some nipple suckers? Beginner’s Basic Nipple Suckers are just as adept for increasing sensation and enhancing the look and feel of nipples, but they don’t pinch as much as most other nipple clamps.”
Hella says, “Wax play has been a firm favourite for sexual adventurers for decades, but now there’s an even better way to play. Massage candles like the Lelo Flickering Touch Massage Candle Vanilla and Creme de Cacao not only create a sensual atmosphere with a delicious scent and perfect mood lighting, they can also be poured onto the skin.
“Once the wax is melted it becomes an erotic massage oil that is warm to the touch but never too hot.”
Both the Beginner’s Basic Nipple Suckers and Lelo Flickering Touch Massage Candle Vanilla and Creme de Cacao are available from lovehoney.co.uk.
Communcation is by far the most important aspect in the bedroom, not only to tell your partner what they’re doing right, or wrong, but in order for you both to know where the boundaries are.
Creating a safe word is important as it stops either one of the crossing the line during bondage. Make sure the word is something you wouldn’t normally use during sex so there is no confusion.
Hella says, “A safe word will help you to differentiate between ‘Oh, please stop.’ and ‘Ow, please stop!’”
Lastly, always be prepared! Have all your toys and props ready before you start. Hella says, “Nothing shakes a dominant/submissive fantasy scene like scrambling for a bottle of lube mid play while your partner is tied to the bed.”
*Lovehoney.co.uk ships worldwide
Cara Mason @FemaleFirst_UK