There are a few major points to remember when having sex for the first time, the most important being to be sure that you’re ready on your own terms and don’t feel pressured into it.
Once you’ve made your decision it’s time to get your safety hat on. Even if you’re on the pill, always use a condom with a new partner to avoid unwanted pregnancy and STIs.
With first-time sex, it’s important to not let your expectations get too high. It’s your first time and things generally will get better the more you get to know your partner’s body so don’t feel pressured to make this the most amazing sexual experience ever.
To make everything run smoothly, foreplay is a must. It adds to the fun of it all and can sometimes be the best part of sex. It allows your partner to get to know your body and what turns you on or off and makes your body relax and enjoy the experience, something that is necessary for sex.
First-time sex can sometimes be painful, so make sure you’re taking deep breaths to relax your body. Another key point to avoid pain is to be genuinely aroused; this will make sure you are sufficiently lubricated.
Lubrication is very important, not only will it ease any pain as it will make it easier for your partner to enter you but it will also stop the condom from ripping during intercourse. If you’re having trouble staying lubricated then keep a water based lubricant on standby.
Communication is crucial, let him know what feels good and give him guidance on what to do next. He’ll want to please you so don’t be shy in giving him some instruction, he’ll appreciate it!
It’s important to remember that your partner may not be an expert when it comes to sex, especially if it’s his first time too; he’s going to have got his education from porn and exaggerated stories from the boys.
Remember that every sexual experience is different so even if he is experienced, this will be a new experience for him to so it’s essential that you’re communicating to each other.
There are times when things won’t go to plan and your partner may experience a little malfunction in the penis department in the form of premature ejaculation or erectile difficulty, don’t worry about it or make a fuss.
Men also suffer from anxiety when it comes to sex with a new partner so don’t worry if they can’t perform, once they become more comfortable with you this should improve.
Now for the disappointing bit, don’t expect an orgasm the first time you have sex. There are a lucky few who will be blessed with this pleasure but for most women it takes a few times with a new guy until they’ll climax.
Absolutely do not fake it. Most of the time it’s obvious and you’ll only be cheating yourself so just let him know that you came close and that you want to can’t wait to try again.
Most importantly, don’t let a bad first time ruin sex for you. As with anything, sex gets better with practice and you get to have fun improving techniques with your partner!
Cara Mason
by Cara Mason
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by Rebeca - Siren 22nd Dec 2012 08:09
First time is usually a bit awkward for most people and don't expect there to be fireworks! Make sure you have lube ready for if you need it and contraception of course. Just start off with foreplay, then things will naturally head in the right direction.. As for sounds, don't make fake ones, he will be able to tell, if sounds are meant to happen - they will!! Good luck and try not to be nervous!