Conflict in marriage is not a sign of breakup. As a matter of fact; it is a healthy situation that strengthens the marriage bond. Every marriage has unique conflict resolution measures. Nevertheless, solving a disagreement requires maturity from both parties. In a marriage where people fight over the same things, it may be due to unresolved issues that have accumulated over time. This is for the simple reason, they both choose to sweep issues under the carpet rather than resolve, forgive, and forget them. The following principles guide happy couples to handle disagreements.
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It’s never that serious
Hey, as much as you disagree with your partner on issues; it is not a matter of life and death. You have a long way to go and grow old together. Offer tough love to one another, but, have time for fun and even laugh over how each of you reacted on the issue. You misunderstood a text on his phone. Later, the man creates humor out of it- a clear indication that is a solved issue. This humor seals the bond of love at the same time, opens your lines of communication with no ill feelings or judgment.
Focus on important issues rather than fight over petty issues
You both come from diverse backgrounds with different upbringing. In a happy marriage, some things are better ignored especially if they can affect your emotional bond. You can always talk them out as jokes and a loving spouse will change. Patience is paramount at this time.
Engage in an open and honest conversation
Research shows that happy couples know the most appropriate place to solve their conflicts. He or she is your spouse hence you understand her low or high moments. You know when to ask for something and it is granted with minimal questions. Be open and honest with the issue at hand and acknowledge your faults. The team spirit and willingness to change even if you are sure you are not part of the problem makes conflict resolution a walk in the park. It helps your spouse to handle the issue positively. Moreover, it prompts his or her willingness to talk and forge the road ahead for a successful relationship.
Maintain the foundation of love and respect at all times
Despite the disagreements; you have to protect the relationship. You have to choose the right words and avoid pointing fingers. Controlled emotions allow the voice of reason to take the center stage. Otherwise, you might use hurting words which might be very difficult to forget.
Control your anger at all costs
Anger leads to bitterness and resentment; you will never hold a meaningful conversation when you are angry because of unstable emotions. When angry take a breather to cool you off or take a walk. The space helps you to become rational and do a comprehensive analysis of the situation in a bid to look for the best way to tackle it. Later, create time and sit down with your spouse to sort out the issue at hand. At this time, both of you are in a good state of mind with no underlying issues in life which might hinder the reconciliation process.
Work together and support each other’s weaknesses
Having differences is part of a healthy marriage life. Help each other to accept one other’s weaknesses through support, patience, and perseverance. ”Old habits die hard!” you cannot change your spouse, you just have to cope with some habits. Although, some people improve when they realize their weakness drains the emotional connection in their relationship. As a matter of fact, focus on each other’s strength rather than the weaknesses. If not, point out your concerns with love, and you will have a blissful marriage thereafter.
Couples have to be skillful and tactful when solving their disagreements. Otherwise, it might have a permanent mark on the relationship which might lead to bitterness and resentment.
Author Bio: Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.