Friends with Benefits
Match.com has found while celebrating the 20th anniversary of Friends that more and more people are falling in love with those nearest and dearest- their mates. One third of Brits have had feelings for a friend and 40% have dated a mate so it would seem that our potential loves are right under our noses.
In Friends, Monica and Chandler get it on and Rachel and Joey think that they might be right for one another and of course Ross and Rachel go back and forth from being friends to lovers. The show is a great example of how we don’t have to look very far to find someone to be with. 18% of Brits have kissed a friend on a drunken night out and that is of course where it all began for Monica and Chandler.
Looking for someone close to home can also have its negative sides- as 10 % said that it did not end well; their friendship was affected as a result and regretted getting involved with them that way.
Having a closely knit group of friends is great, but it also means that often on nights out you don’t break away and talk to other people, limiting your prospects to find a date.
Sometimes this can escalate to a love triangle and then it gets even messier for there is not just the three of you but the larger group to think of too. Getting involved with a friend’s sibling could also mean tears at bedtime, because often family comes first in the event of it going sour.
Men are much more likely to get involved with their mates than women, with 38% admitting to having feelings for one of their close female friends.
Kate Taylor, relationship expert for match.com, here reveals the pitfalls of ‘friendcest’
“Friendcest is an easy trap to fall into. If you socialise in a close circle of friends, your opportunities to meet new people can be limited. This may also scare off potential daters, who could be wary to approach you if you're always in a large group, and your social life might keep you so busy that you don't make time to look for love.
“Dating a friend might feel like the perfect solution, but there are dangers. You might have friends in common, but not necessarily share the same interests, goals or ambitions. You might stay in an unhappy ‘Friendcestuous’ relationship longer than you should, because you're scared of splitting up your social circle or losing some of your mutual friends. You might mistake friendship for love, and be disappointed if the relationship never delivers on passion, romance or excitement.
“I'd advise other ways to find the perfect match for them, rather than just looking around to see who's nearby.”
Match.com’s top ways to avoid ‘friendcest’ and meet new daters:
Online dating- Break free from your friends more subtly and join a dating site like match.com then you are not physically turning your back on them or abandoning them on a night out which they might take offence to.
Social event- Go on a social and meet other likeminded people- your friends might have the same opinions as you on a lot of things but they might not be in the same place when it comes to dating- at least this way everyone is in the same boat.
Friendly- Bring your friends too and you can all mingle and extend your social circle- you might even find the one. Plus everyone knows what you are there for, so no-one gets hurt.
Download the app- Use the app to keep up to date with your match.com account and who is interested in a date with you so you can arrange it for a night when you are not with your mates!
tagged in match.com