Embrace their quirkiness

Embrace their quirkiness

When you are in a relationship, it makes things easier if you feel included among your partner’s family and friends, especially parents, so no-one feels cast aside. If you marry or date someone it’s an expectation to take on their family too to some extent- they come as package, whether you like it or not.

It’s important not to be left out and to try, even if they are not your kind of people. It can put a relationship under a lot of unnecessary strain if you don’t.

We have come up with some tips for you if you are struggling with your partner’s family and friends.

Differences

Try to remember that your culture is different to that of another family, so embrace the ways in which they are not like yours rather than compare and criticise.

Opinions

Opinions are just that- not fact- so if your mother in law has a pop at your cooking skills- then don’t take it to heart- she might think that but someone else could disagree. She is not criticising you personally.

What’s important

If they need to call their parents every day for a daily update then accept it and move on. There is no point in trying to change it because it helps them get through the day- respect their habits with their family and understand that it means something to them even if you would never dream of doing the same.

Don’t take it out on your partner

If the family or their friends are being difficult, then remember that you are not dating/ married to them- compensate by being kind to your partner, rather than blaming them for being their child or their mate.

Make the effort

Parents and friends are a very important part of your partner’s life so be respectful of them and get stuck in when it comes to events. If you don’t agree with them or understand them give it your best attempt for your partner’s sake.

Boundaries

Make sure that you have some rules in place to avoid family and friends stepping over the mark. If they call by unannounced and you don’t feel comfortable with that then ask them to give you a heads up first.

Keep things separate

If his mother says something, try to remember that it is not reflective of his opinion or what he thinks, just because he is her son doesn’t mean that they share the same viewpoint on everything.

Empathy

Even if your thoughts don’t correlate with theirs, try to understand the perspective from which they are coming from to have a more considered response. Take a deep breath and think about it from their world for a moment- would you react the same if you were in their shoes?


by for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
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