As Mother's Day looms, a lot of us reveal that we could have better relationships with our mothers, according to Relate.
How is your relationship with your mother?
Only half of people say that their relationship with their mother is very good, a quarter would say that their bond is fairly good and 12% say that their relationship is just average. 5% would class it as fairly bad and 2% very bad.
Relate counsellor, Barbara Bloomfield believes that in every family there is an opportunity to better the relationship within it;
"It's wonderful that so many people in the UK get on well with their mum, but no matter how positively we view our relationships there are always things we can do to make them stronger. The key thing is to communicate and be able to show your mum how you're feeling."
Top tips to be closer to your mum:
Time- Schedule in a regular phone call, or opportunity to pop over her house or her to yours. If you have no contact during the week other than emails or texts, then this can give you something to look forward to and you will have lots to talk about.
Personal gifts- Generic bunches of flowers and boxes of chocolates can be interpreted as not putting in a lot of thought to her gifts.
Why not frame a picture of the two of you? Or create a photo album or cook her favourite meal? All of this takes time and effort and she will be more grateful, especially if her gift lasts longer than a few days.
Be yourself- Don't live your life by someone else's rules but at the same time remember your routes. She may not agree with something at first but will respect you in the long term for having your own mind and making yourself happy. If that means moving away or studying a course that goes against what she thinks is best then so be it.
Feelings are important- You must be honest and tell her how you feel. If she has said something to upset you then clear the air, better this than letting something linger for days/weeks because you didn't nip it in the bud at the time.
Blame- Avoid blaming your mum for everything. You have made the choices you have and you need to accept them and not hold her accountable if the decisions you make are the wrong ones.
Patience- Any issues you have with your mum might be built up from many years of feeling a certain way. If you are trying to reverse these- then make sure that you have patience with it as it might take just as long to undo.
tagged in Mother's Day