Colleen Patrick-Goudreau is a vegan author, speaker and podcaster who first came onto my radar because of her lectures on why it makes sense to follow the vegan lifestyle. I then began to watch her You Tube videos and periscopes only to find that she not only gives advice on becoming vegan but also on relationships, which is why I had to share this video.
What do you do to keeps things fresh?
I have paraphrased her tops tips once you've watched the video, so you can take them home and use some or all of them if you want! Her relationship has stood the test of time (20 years) so I think these tips are worth paying attention to. (I’m certainly going to adopt her planned surprise idea with my husband!)
Top 10 tips for keeping your relationship strong and long
Like each other- You need to enjoy not just stand each other's company. Relationships don't last unless you like the person your partner is and vice versa. Of all the people in your life, your partner should be the person you want spend your time with.
Have common interests- If that's watching boxsets while curled up on the couch, going to the cinema, taking long walks together, popping to the theatre- ensure you have something that bonds you and brings you together. Your lifestyle has to be compatible when you're together or you'll struggle to find common ground.
Have other interests- You have to be able to spend time apart so you have something new to talk about. If you spend all your time together your conversation will run dry. Not only this but you will start to tire of each other's company. Spend time with friends and family and enjoy hobbies that don't involve your partner so you still have a sense of identity and can bring something new to your dialogue.
Create planned surprises- Relationships can become very repetitive if you don't set aside new date ideas for each other. Making your date a surprise adds a new element to the time you spend together and is exciting for the person who's in the dark. It could be dinner at a great restaurant, the movies, a DVD they'll love or a trip to somewhere you've never been together before. Think outside the box- it doesn't have to cost the earth nor does it have to be every week- once a month is fine.
Laugh- Laughing as they say is 'the best medicine' and one of the greatest things you can have for relationship maintenance. It can lift the mood after bad news, cheer up your partner after a hard day and reaffirm why you're together- because you share the same sense of humour.
Say 'I love you'- Every morning before you leave, before you go to sleep and in between if you can. Your partner needs to know that your love for them hasn't faded. Remind them as often as possible so they are secure in the knowledge that you still feel the same as you did when you first got together.
Give each other undivided attention- Leave digital devices to one side when you come in from work and talk without distraction. This is the greatest gift you can give one another- your time and attention. Your partner needs to feel heard and understood and so do you.
Keep doing the little things- That could be in the form of leaving each other notes, making each other a brew, running a bath or picking them up their favourite treat on your way home. It’s the little stuff that matters most because some bigger gestures can take less effort. It shows your partner you’re thinking about them and are in tune with their needs.
Help each other- If your partner needs support when things haven’t gone their way- be there for them and help how you can, even if it’s just listening so they can offload their thoughts and feelings in a safe space.
Love your partner unconditionally- They will make mistakes and so will you- but you should both be able to forget and forgive. Neither of you are perfect so don’t expect perfection and understand that they won’t always be at their best- love them anyway because they love you at your worst.
tagged in Love relationships Vegan Colleen Patrick-Goudreau